Since I've received hundreds of e-mails* asking about my next post, I felt obliged to write something. It's been a busy week so I'll post a longer piece tomorrow. In the mean time: Fire Isiah Thomas!
*One
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
Say It Ain't So, Andy
The Babe was an asshole. Mickey was a drunk. Andy is a cheater. So it goes. Sooner or later, each generation of Yankee fans gets to know their heroes and finds out the sad truths beneath the pinstripes. Yesterday George Mitchell revealed that my favorite player of all time, Andy Pettitte, used human growth hormone to rebound from two arm injuries in the later stage of his career. While his use was limited and his intentions seem less sinister than those of Roger Clemens, Pettitte is still a cheater. There's really no way around that. Andy Pettitte cheated. And once again a new generation of Yankee fans must face the truths that their fathers once faced: The Yankees are immortal, but their players are only men.
An inordinate number of Yankee players were named in the Mitchell Report, due to the fact that a Yankee trainer, Brian McNamee, was one of Mitchell's prime sources. Yankees fans today are throwing around the fact that Mitchell is a director for the Red Sox and suggesting that he fixed the report so no Sox were named. That's ridiculous. The players who were named had the bad luck of using the drug dealers who happened to be Mitchell's sources and since one of those sources worked for the Yankees, the Bronx burned again. The truth is, however, that the players named in this report represent only a small fraction of Major League Baseball's steroid users. Most players got lucky. A vast number of players, some of them probably Red Sox, used steroids and weren't exposed. But that's life, isn't it? We always hear stories about criminals who spend their lives breaking the law and watch with befuddled amusement when first-time offenders are caught. Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa and Raphael Palmeiro escaped mention. Andy Pettitte didn't. That's life.
The real star of the Mitchell Report is Roger Clemens, whose long and extensive steroid use was chronicled in the report. His use of steroids and conversations with suppliers are revealed in stark detail and his secret life as a drug addict is now a matter of public record. For all the talk about Barry Bonds all these years, Clemens managed to stay above the fray. He was never beyond the scope of suspicion, but he was never vilified in the way that Bonds was. I guess now is as good a time as any to ask why. Maybe it's because people liked him better. Maybe it's because he was nicer to the media. Maybe it's because he is white. I don't know. The truth remains, though, that he and Bonds can now be considered in the same group of players. They both would have been Hall of Famers had they never taken a steroid, but their illegal drives toward baseball immortality ultimately proved to be fatal to their careers.
Clemens is now denying his use of steroids, which I have a hard time believing considering the abundance of detail in the report. Pettitte will eventually have to speak and I believe he only has two choices of what he can say. If he chooses to deny the allegations, he must do so immediately and emphatically. If he chooses to admit to using HGH though, he must apologize directly to Yankee fans. He must admit it, make no excuses, and apologize for deceiving those of us who have rooted so loyally for him since he first came to the Bronx. He must give a speech that reminds us that we all make mistakes and that baseball players are no more than normal men with extraordinary abilities. I don't think Andy Pettitte is a bad guy. On the contrary, I think he's one of the good guys in baseball. But even good guys do bad things and Andy must be held accountable for his actions.
I wonder how Andy Pettitte will be received in New York now that he has been outed. If he handles it like a man and apologizes and admits his mistake, I suspect that he will be forgiven. There are certain Yankees who are too renowned to ever be hated. Clemens was never embraced as a Yankee and I suspect that no Yankee fan will take it personally that Clemens cheated. Andy, though, is one of us. We saw him come into the league and we embraced him as he became one of the top pitchers in the game. He gained hero status in Game Five of the 1996 World Series, when he outpitched John Smoltz and put the Yankees up three games to two. He became a legend as he led the Yanks to four World Series championships and six pennants. He is one of only a few players (Bernie Williams, Derek Jeter, and Mariano Rivera are the others) who came up in the Yankee system to become the heroes of four championship teams. He messed up. He made a mistake. But if he plays it right, Yankee fans can and will forgive him. We love him too much not to.
For years, we heard how Pettitte and Clemens were inseparable and how Clemens turned Andy onto his training regimen. I suspect that Clemens also turned Andy onto the world of steroids. That, in my mind, is the Rocket's biggest crime. It is interesting to think about what happens when you add one big, bad steroid user to your clubhouse. Clemens brought the trainer who brought the drugs who injected a significant number of Yankees with steroids. I blame each one of those individual players for electing to use the stuff, but I place the most blame on Clemens for bringing it into the Bronx.
The Mitchell Report is not the end of the steroid story. It is only the beginning. The report offers an important glance into the world of steroids in baseball and is a great starting point for further inquiries and, more importantly, for further action. Bud Selig will need to institute a steroid policy with teeth and must take a strong stance against any player who violates whatever policy is instituted. I agree with George Mitchell that no disciplinary action should be taken against the players named in the report. The focus must be on the future and eradicating steroids from the sport is the highest priority. Commissioner Selig now has a daunting task in front of him and nothing he has done in his tenure as commissioner has given anyone any confidence that he is up to the task. The road ahead is a long one and a dark one, but it is still brighter than the the one that led us here. It is my hope that December 13, 2007 will be the climax of the history of steroids in baseball. From this day forward, MLB must act aggressively to end this dark chapter of its history. The Mitchell Report gives Bud Selig the appropriate ammo to attack the problem. It is up to him to pull the trigger.
An inordinate number of Yankee players were named in the Mitchell Report, due to the fact that a Yankee trainer, Brian McNamee, was one of Mitchell's prime sources. Yankees fans today are throwing around the fact that Mitchell is a director for the Red Sox and suggesting that he fixed the report so no Sox were named. That's ridiculous. The players who were named had the bad luck of using the drug dealers who happened to be Mitchell's sources and since one of those sources worked for the Yankees, the Bronx burned again. The truth is, however, that the players named in this report represent only a small fraction of Major League Baseball's steroid users. Most players got lucky. A vast number of players, some of them probably Red Sox, used steroids and weren't exposed. But that's life, isn't it? We always hear stories about criminals who spend their lives breaking the law and watch with befuddled amusement when first-time offenders are caught. Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa and Raphael Palmeiro escaped mention. Andy Pettitte didn't. That's life.
The real star of the Mitchell Report is Roger Clemens, whose long and extensive steroid use was chronicled in the report. His use of steroids and conversations with suppliers are revealed in stark detail and his secret life as a drug addict is now a matter of public record. For all the talk about Barry Bonds all these years, Clemens managed to stay above the fray. He was never beyond the scope of suspicion, but he was never vilified in the way that Bonds was. I guess now is as good a time as any to ask why. Maybe it's because people liked him better. Maybe it's because he was nicer to the media. Maybe it's because he is white. I don't know. The truth remains, though, that he and Bonds can now be considered in the same group of players. They both would have been Hall of Famers had they never taken a steroid, but their illegal drives toward baseball immortality ultimately proved to be fatal to their careers.
Clemens is now denying his use of steroids, which I have a hard time believing considering the abundance of detail in the report. Pettitte will eventually have to speak and I believe he only has two choices of what he can say. If he chooses to deny the allegations, he must do so immediately and emphatically. If he chooses to admit to using HGH though, he must apologize directly to Yankee fans. He must admit it, make no excuses, and apologize for deceiving those of us who have rooted so loyally for him since he first came to the Bronx. He must give a speech that reminds us that we all make mistakes and that baseball players are no more than normal men with extraordinary abilities. I don't think Andy Pettitte is a bad guy. On the contrary, I think he's one of the good guys in baseball. But even good guys do bad things and Andy must be held accountable for his actions.
I wonder how Andy Pettitte will be received in New York now that he has been outed. If he handles it like a man and apologizes and admits his mistake, I suspect that he will be forgiven. There are certain Yankees who are too renowned to ever be hated. Clemens was never embraced as a Yankee and I suspect that no Yankee fan will take it personally that Clemens cheated. Andy, though, is one of us. We saw him come into the league and we embraced him as he became one of the top pitchers in the game. He gained hero status in Game Five of the 1996 World Series, when he outpitched John Smoltz and put the Yankees up three games to two. He became a legend as he led the Yanks to four World Series championships and six pennants. He is one of only a few players (Bernie Williams, Derek Jeter, and Mariano Rivera are the others) who came up in the Yankee system to become the heroes of four championship teams. He messed up. He made a mistake. But if he plays it right, Yankee fans can and will forgive him. We love him too much not to.
For years, we heard how Pettitte and Clemens were inseparable and how Clemens turned Andy onto his training regimen. I suspect that Clemens also turned Andy onto the world of steroids. That, in my mind, is the Rocket's biggest crime. It is interesting to think about what happens when you add one big, bad steroid user to your clubhouse. Clemens brought the trainer who brought the drugs who injected a significant number of Yankees with steroids. I blame each one of those individual players for electing to use the stuff, but I place the most blame on Clemens for bringing it into the Bronx.
The Mitchell Report is not the end of the steroid story. It is only the beginning. The report offers an important glance into the world of steroids in baseball and is a great starting point for further inquiries and, more importantly, for further action. Bud Selig will need to institute a steroid policy with teeth and must take a strong stance against any player who violates whatever policy is instituted. I agree with George Mitchell that no disciplinary action should be taken against the players named in the report. The focus must be on the future and eradicating steroids from the sport is the highest priority. Commissioner Selig now has a daunting task in front of him and nothing he has done in his tenure as commissioner has given anyone any confidence that he is up to the task. The road ahead is a long one and a dark one, but it is still brighter than the the one that led us here. It is my hope that December 13, 2007 will be the climax of the history of steroids in baseball. From this day forward, MLB must act aggressively to end this dark chapter of its history. The Mitchell Report gives Bud Selig the appropriate ammo to attack the problem. It is up to him to pull the trigger.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
The List
Marvin Benard
Larry Bigbie
Barry Bonds
Kevin Brown
Roger Clemens
Jack Cust
Lenny Dykstra
Eric Gagne
Jason Giambi
Troy Glaus
Jerry Hairston, Jr.
Glenallen Hill
Todd Hundley
David Justice
Chuck Knoblauch
Tim Laker
Paul Lo Duca
Kent Mercker
Hal Morris
Denny Neagle
Andy Pettitte
Brian Roberts
John Rocker
Benito Santiago
David Segui
Gary Sheffield
Mike Stanton
Miguel Tejada
Mo Vaughn
Randy Velarde
Rondell White
Gregg Zaun
Larry Bigbie
Barry Bonds
Kevin Brown
Roger Clemens
Jack Cust
Lenny Dykstra
Eric Gagne
Jason Giambi
Troy Glaus
Jerry Hairston, Jr.
Glenallen Hill
Todd Hundley
David Justice
Chuck Knoblauch
Tim Laker
Paul Lo Duca
Kent Mercker
Hal Morris
Denny Neagle
Andy Pettitte
Brian Roberts
John Rocker
Benito Santiago
David Segui
Gary Sheffield
Mike Stanton
Miguel Tejada
Mo Vaughn
Randy Velarde
Rondell White
Gregg Zaun
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Prelude to the Mitchell Report
Tomorrow, the Mitchell Report will be released. I will not add anything to this blog until I have read it, immersed myself in the media coverage, and tore up a bunch of old baseball cards. People in the media have been playing up and playing down the possible implications of this report. And it is true that the Mitchell Report might just be another step in the unfolding saga of steroids in baseball. But I think we all know better than that. December 13, 2007 might just be the most important day in baseball history since April 15, 1947, when Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier. After tomorrow, everything could be different.
Tomorrow will be the lowest point in baseball's storied history. But it is also a necessary event. From the revelation of which players took steroids, how the drugs filtered into the system, and how the executives let it happen, Major League Baseball can finally stop it. And then it can rebuild.
After the strike of 1994/1995, the sport seemed dead. Cal Ripken helped keep it on the map but just as the game was on the brink, home runs brought it back. The country found new heroes in Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa and loved watching them chase Roger Maris. The League was being saved, the money was pouring in, and the owners had no reason to stop it. It was a perfect storm. And in an era defined by home runs (see the great Chicks Dig the Longball commercial here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ltD21rYWVw), fans were given no shortage of power.
But even from that historic 1998 season, we all knew the game was living on borrowed time. Sooner or later, we knew, the shine would come off the apple and someone would look into this whole steroid business and tell us what was really going on. Fast forward almost a decade. Maris's record has been broken and broken again. Hank Aaron has fallen. Four future Hall of Famers were dragged in front of Congress. The Home Run King has been indicted and faces jail time. For years, we have waited for the other shoe to drop and tomorrow, George Mitchell will slam it down.
Baseball will survive the Mitchell Report. It will survive just as it survived integration, the strike, and every other event people said would end it. Baseball's roots are America's roots and it will take more than some pills and needles to uproot our national pasttime. Tomorrow won't be pretty. But on December 14th a new day will dawn, and baseball can begin to recover from its long battle with steroids.
Tomorrow will be the lowest point in baseball's storied history. But it is also a necessary event. From the revelation of which players took steroids, how the drugs filtered into the system, and how the executives let it happen, Major League Baseball can finally stop it. And then it can rebuild.
After the strike of 1994/1995, the sport seemed dead. Cal Ripken helped keep it on the map but just as the game was on the brink, home runs brought it back. The country found new heroes in Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa and loved watching them chase Roger Maris. The League was being saved, the money was pouring in, and the owners had no reason to stop it. It was a perfect storm. And in an era defined by home runs (see the great Chicks Dig the Longball commercial here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ltD21rYWVw), fans were given no shortage of power.
But even from that historic 1998 season, we all knew the game was living on borrowed time. Sooner or later, we knew, the shine would come off the apple and someone would look into this whole steroid business and tell us what was really going on. Fast forward almost a decade. Maris's record has been broken and broken again. Hank Aaron has fallen. Four future Hall of Famers were dragged in front of Congress. The Home Run King has been indicted and faces jail time. For years, we have waited for the other shoe to drop and tomorrow, George Mitchell will slam it down.
Baseball will survive the Mitchell Report. It will survive just as it survived integration, the strike, and every other event people said would end it. Baseball's roots are America's roots and it will take more than some pills and needles to uproot our national pasttime. Tomorrow won't be pretty. But on December 14th a new day will dawn, and baseball can begin to recover from its long battle with steroids.
Monday, December 10, 2007
"Eli Manning is Unstoppable!" Yes, if the task is sucking.
1. The Mitchell Report is due out sometime over the next few weeks. I'm confident it will include David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Curt Schilling and Theo Epstein. Actually, I'm terrified of it. My worst fear as a Yankee fan is that A-Rod is on it and that we just committed $300 million for a decade of pimping the next Barry Bonds. Think people hate the Yankees now? Just wait.
2. Eli Manning is the Charlie Brown of football. Everything he tries goes wrong for him and he just walks away with his head down, his shoulders sagged, and that "Oh gosh, not again" look on his face. I'm tired of defending him. He's not good. Maybe one day he'll surprise us all but right now he is not a very good quarterback. That team is 9-4 with Charlie at the helm. With Brady or Peyton in there, they'd be even better. It's a credit to the Giants that they can succeed with such a mediocre quarterback.
By the way, I love the Citizen Watch commercial that proclaims "Eli Manning is unstoppable!" Really? Is he? He's more like unstartable. Aren't watches supposed to actually work? Buying a watch from Eli Manning is like buying a dog from Michael Vick.
Too soon? Anyway, it segways perfectly into...
3. Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in prison today, just in time for the Falcons to play on Monday Night Football. Im sure Tirico and Jaworski and Kornheiser and Guest will spend the better part of the night discussing this story. I would be happier, though, if they didn't say a thing about it but just had with them in the booth one of the dogs that was rescued from Vick's estate. It would be best if they could find one with a cute name like Spot who would just curl up on Kornheiser's lap for four hours and look adorable on camera. I'm dead serious. Anyone who wants to argue about Vick's prison sentence, take a look at this little puppy before you open your mouth. This would speak louder than anything they could say on the subject.
4. The Patriots cruised to a win over the Steelers yesterday in a game that featured my second favorite play of all time behind the Music City Miracle. Here it is: http://youtube.com/watch?v=evTTzPcZFU0
Next week, the Patriots play the Jets. I'm expecting the point spread to be wider than Eric Mangini's waist. The Patriots crush everyone they have any reason to dislike and they HATE Mangini. The game will only be foreplay to the real show: the Belichick-Mangini post-game greeting. I expect the dour Belichick to laugh in Mangini's face at the concept that the Pats needed to cheat to beat the Jets.
5. I watched the Patriots-Steelers game yesterday at a bar in DC and couldn't help but notice a certain phenomenon among Cowboys' fans. Why do Cowboy fans find it necessary to wear cowboy hats when rooting for their team? Would this work for any other franchise? You don't see Yankee fans dressing up like Uncle Sam. You don't see Utah Jazz fans dragging saxophones to the bar. Devils fans don't carry pitchforks. It's kind of ridiculous if you think about it. They should probably stop.
2. Eli Manning is the Charlie Brown of football. Everything he tries goes wrong for him and he just walks away with his head down, his shoulders sagged, and that "Oh gosh, not again" look on his face. I'm tired of defending him. He's not good. Maybe one day he'll surprise us all but right now he is not a very good quarterback. That team is 9-4 with Charlie at the helm. With Brady or Peyton in there, they'd be even better. It's a credit to the Giants that they can succeed with such a mediocre quarterback.
By the way, I love the Citizen Watch commercial that proclaims "Eli Manning is unstoppable!" Really? Is he? He's more like unstartable. Aren't watches supposed to actually work? Buying a watch from Eli Manning is like buying a dog from Michael Vick.
Too soon? Anyway, it segways perfectly into...
3. Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in prison today, just in time for the Falcons to play on Monday Night Football. Im sure Tirico and Jaworski and Kornheiser and Guest will spend the better part of the night discussing this story. I would be happier, though, if they didn't say a thing about it but just had with them in the booth one of the dogs that was rescued from Vick's estate. It would be best if they could find one with a cute name like Spot who would just curl up on Kornheiser's lap for four hours and look adorable on camera. I'm dead serious. Anyone who wants to argue about Vick's prison sentence, take a look at this little puppy before you open your mouth. This would speak louder than anything they could say on the subject.
4. The Patriots cruised to a win over the Steelers yesterday in a game that featured my second favorite play of all time behind the Music City Miracle. Here it is: http://youtube.com/watch?v=evTTzPcZFU0
Next week, the Patriots play the Jets. I'm expecting the point spread to be wider than Eric Mangini's waist. The Patriots crush everyone they have any reason to dislike and they HATE Mangini. The game will only be foreplay to the real show: the Belichick-Mangini post-game greeting. I expect the dour Belichick to laugh in Mangini's face at the concept that the Pats needed to cheat to beat the Jets.
5. I watched the Patriots-Steelers game yesterday at a bar in DC and couldn't help but notice a certain phenomenon among Cowboys' fans. Why do Cowboy fans find it necessary to wear cowboy hats when rooting for their team? Would this work for any other franchise? You don't see Yankee fans dressing up like Uncle Sam. You don't see Utah Jazz fans dragging saxophones to the bar. Devils fans don't carry pitchforks. It's kind of ridiculous if you think about it. They should probably stop.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Hail to the Native Americans!
The Redskins/Bears game last night was the first time I've been to an NFL game since Ronnie Lott was on the Jets.
Here are my thoughts:
1. Fed Ex Field is eh, ok. I expected more. It's a big football stadium. Yeah, I get that. It's very big. It holds a lot of people. A lot of people can attend games there. It's - dare I say? - big. Okay. But what else? It's a very enclosing stadium, very impersonal. It has no character. Kind of like Dan Snyder.
2. The Redskins played very well. When you look at this team on paper, with the names they have, they could be a deep playoff team. Last night, they played like it. Shawn Springs picked two balls on consecutive throws in two drives. Portis broke for a long run after a short reception. Cooley dominated deep. They played as well as they look on paper. And I saw most of it through the small hole of vision I allowed myself when I pulled my sweatshirt hood as tight as it would go.
3. It was f'ing cold out. I am still thawing out from four hours in below freezing weather last night. I honestly worried if I would be able to keep my toes. Seriously, I've never felt colder for a longer period of time. I felt like the Red Sox during their 86 years of not winning baseball games.
4. I'm still not sold on the team's name. Pardon me, but isn't "Redskin" just a wee bit racist? If the team name were attacking any other group of people, it wouldn't be allowed. Somehow it's ok though to name your team after the ridiculously offensive term for Native Americans. I'm not trying to be all high and mighty, but I think I have a point here. And while we're on the subject, do you think there are any Native Americans who are actually Redskins fans? And if so, are they shunned by their communities? These are the thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools.
5. Red Skin fans don't like Dallas. This was evidenced by the countless "Dallas Sucks!" chants that broke out during the game. And they weren't even playing Dallas!!! It's just like Red Sox fans with the Yankees. You don't like them. Understood. But doesn't it demean your team when instead of cheering for them, you're cheering against a team who's not even playing? Jeez!
6. What's up with the fight song and marching band? What is this, Redskins University? Once you leave the NCAA, you forfeit your right to a fight song and band. The funny thing was listening to the fans scream the fight song on the way down the ramp after the game. No one knew the words. All they knew was "Braves on the war path. Fight for Old DC!" After that everything turned to mumbles until someone else screamed "Braves on the war path!" again. If you're going to have a fight song, you can at least learn the words to it. That's the whole point of having it in the first place. But seriously, just don't have one at all. It's bush league.
7. This was Injury Bowl 2007. First Grossman went down with a leg injury. Then Campbell did the same. Cooley was out for a while. It was like someone put everyone on the cover of Madden and then sent them out to play the game.
8. How were the Bears wearing short sleeves? They were dressed like it was July and I was struggling to remain conscious. I guess I'm not as tough as Brian Urlacher after all.
9. I missed not seeing Peyton Manning five times during every time out. Between quarters, I half expected him to sit down next to me and explain why Lipitor might be right for me.
10. Sean Taylor is missed. It was nice to see Skins fans showing support for their fallen hero. People wore #21 hats, ribbons, and jerseys and you contantly heard his name whispered throughout the stadium.
It is now the morning after the game. My feet have defrosted and the Skins are in playoff contention. I'm not really a fan of the Skins but my friends are and I want them to be happy. I'm just thrilled to still have my toes.
Here are my thoughts:
1. Fed Ex Field is eh, ok. I expected more. It's a big football stadium. Yeah, I get that. It's very big. It holds a lot of people. A lot of people can attend games there. It's - dare I say? - big. Okay. But what else? It's a very enclosing stadium, very impersonal. It has no character. Kind of like Dan Snyder.
2. The Redskins played very well. When you look at this team on paper, with the names they have, they could be a deep playoff team. Last night, they played like it. Shawn Springs picked two balls on consecutive throws in two drives. Portis broke for a long run after a short reception. Cooley dominated deep. They played as well as they look on paper. And I saw most of it through the small hole of vision I allowed myself when I pulled my sweatshirt hood as tight as it would go.
3. It was f'ing cold out. I am still thawing out from four hours in below freezing weather last night. I honestly worried if I would be able to keep my toes. Seriously, I've never felt colder for a longer period of time. I felt like the Red Sox during their 86 years of not winning baseball games.
4. I'm still not sold on the team's name. Pardon me, but isn't "Redskin" just a wee bit racist? If the team name were attacking any other group of people, it wouldn't be allowed. Somehow it's ok though to name your team after the ridiculously offensive term for Native Americans. I'm not trying to be all high and mighty, but I think I have a point here. And while we're on the subject, do you think there are any Native Americans who are actually Redskins fans? And if so, are they shunned by their communities? These are the thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools.
5. Red Skin fans don't like Dallas. This was evidenced by the countless "Dallas Sucks!" chants that broke out during the game. And they weren't even playing Dallas!!! It's just like Red Sox fans with the Yankees. You don't like them. Understood. But doesn't it demean your team when instead of cheering for them, you're cheering against a team who's not even playing? Jeez!
6. What's up with the fight song and marching band? What is this, Redskins University? Once you leave the NCAA, you forfeit your right to a fight song and band. The funny thing was listening to the fans scream the fight song on the way down the ramp after the game. No one knew the words. All they knew was "Braves on the war path. Fight for Old DC!" After that everything turned to mumbles until someone else screamed "Braves on the war path!" again. If you're going to have a fight song, you can at least learn the words to it. That's the whole point of having it in the first place. But seriously, just don't have one at all. It's bush league.
7. This was Injury Bowl 2007. First Grossman went down with a leg injury. Then Campbell did the same. Cooley was out for a while. It was like someone put everyone on the cover of Madden and then sent them out to play the game.
8. How were the Bears wearing short sleeves? They were dressed like it was July and I was struggling to remain conscious. I guess I'm not as tough as Brian Urlacher after all.
9. I missed not seeing Peyton Manning five times during every time out. Between quarters, I half expected him to sit down next to me and explain why Lipitor might be right for me.
10. Sean Taylor is missed. It was nice to see Skins fans showing support for their fallen hero. People wore #21 hats, ribbons, and jerseys and you contantly heard his name whispered throughout the stadium.
It is now the morning after the game. My feet have defrosted and the Skins are in playoff contention. I'm not really a fan of the Skins but my friends are and I want them to be happy. I'm just thrilled to still have my toes.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Andruw Jones? A Dodger? Playing for Torre? For $36 million? What, was God on break?!?
Andruw Jones will be playing baseball for Joe Torre next season. In related stories, Al Gore has joined George Bush's cabinet, Tony Dungy baked cookies with Bill Belichick, and Bugs Bunny helped Elmer Fudd renew his hunting license. Some people just aren't meant to be together and in my own convoluded mind, Jones and Torre are two of them.
You have to understand that in my history with baseball, the 1996 Yankees are the best team of all time. I firmly believe this. You cannot convince me otherwise. I will get into the reasons at some point in the future, but for now just know that I consider the 1996 Yankees to be the Mona Lisa of baseball.
Anyway, after a long and glorious season, the Yankees went on to beat the Rangers in the Division Series and the Orioles in the ALCS. Only the Braves stood in the way of their first World Series Championship in 18 years. Game 1. October 20, 1996. Mickey Mantle's birthday. The Yankees' first World Series game in 15 years, a few years before I was born. Andruw Jones hits two home runs. He is 19 years old.
I arrive the next day at Yankee Stadium for Game 2 of the World Series. My dad and I are standing at the bat outside the Stadium when a gentleman from NBC approaches me and asks to interview me for that night's broadcast. "Yes!" I reply. "I'd love to tell New York how much I love the Yankees!" Great. The camera goes on and the guy says, "So what do you think about Andruw Jones?" Really? Really? The Yankees are in their first World Series in my lifetime, I'm AT THE GAME, and this guy wants to talk about someone who plays for the Braves? (sidenote: the reporter was subsequently fired from NBC and now reports cricket games for al Jazeera. True story.) "Well," I said in my high-pitched twelve year old voice. "He looks like a great player. He had a great game yesterday and I'm worried about him but I'm confident the Yankees will get the best of him today." I'm paraphrasing here but I remember giving him credit and then saying we would shut him down and beat the Braves. By the way, I then went on to predict that Jones would win 10 gold gloves in the next twelve seasons and would one day go on to play for Torre once Steinbrenner's son offered him an insulting contract after twelve successful seasons. They didn't air any of that though and the tapes were lost forever. My point is, I've been to one World Series game in my entire life and during that game (and really the entire series), Andruw Jones was the villian.
Yesterday, Torre's Dodgers offered Jones $36.2 million over two years, which he gratefully accepted after asking "Seriously?" several times. First of all, I can't believe how much they overpaid. There has been talk of Jones being lucky to get a one year deal, let alone a multi-year contract, let alone one worth $36 million. The guy hit .222 last year! Now, Jones is only 30 and if he rebounds from his recent downfall, he has the potential to be a Hall of Famer. But the guy hit .222 last year! He struck out 138 times! I don't know how Scott Boras got him this deal, but SuperAgent may have redeemed himself for the A-Rod debacle. I don't know why the Dodgers didn't go after Rowand. By the way, if I'm Torre I offer a spring training tryout to Bernie Williams to bring him on as a utility outfielder, pinch hitter, and clubhouse leader. It's not likely, but hey, if I'm going to spend a whole post on the villain of the '96 World Series, I have to at least mention the hero.
My problem with Jones isn't personal. For all I know, he could be a great guy. But in my mind, he'll always be the kid who hit 2 homers against the Yankees in their first World Series game in my lifetime. And in the mind of Dave G, you just can't recover from that.
You have to understand that in my history with baseball, the 1996 Yankees are the best team of all time. I firmly believe this. You cannot convince me otherwise. I will get into the reasons at some point in the future, but for now just know that I consider the 1996 Yankees to be the Mona Lisa of baseball.
Anyway, after a long and glorious season, the Yankees went on to beat the Rangers in the Division Series and the Orioles in the ALCS. Only the Braves stood in the way of their first World Series Championship in 18 years. Game 1. October 20, 1996. Mickey Mantle's birthday. The Yankees' first World Series game in 15 years, a few years before I was born. Andruw Jones hits two home runs. He is 19 years old.
I arrive the next day at Yankee Stadium for Game 2 of the World Series. My dad and I are standing at the bat outside the Stadium when a gentleman from NBC approaches me and asks to interview me for that night's broadcast. "Yes!" I reply. "I'd love to tell New York how much I love the Yankees!" Great. The camera goes on and the guy says, "So what do you think about Andruw Jones?" Really? Really? The Yankees are in their first World Series in my lifetime, I'm AT THE GAME, and this guy wants to talk about someone who plays for the Braves? (sidenote: the reporter was subsequently fired from NBC and now reports cricket games for al Jazeera. True story.) "Well," I said in my high-pitched twelve year old voice. "He looks like a great player. He had a great game yesterday and I'm worried about him but I'm confident the Yankees will get the best of him today." I'm paraphrasing here but I remember giving him credit and then saying we would shut him down and beat the Braves. By the way, I then went on to predict that Jones would win 10 gold gloves in the next twelve seasons and would one day go on to play for Torre once Steinbrenner's son offered him an insulting contract after twelve successful seasons. They didn't air any of that though and the tapes were lost forever. My point is, I've been to one World Series game in my entire life and during that game (and really the entire series), Andruw Jones was the villian.
Yesterday, Torre's Dodgers offered Jones $36.2 million over two years, which he gratefully accepted after asking "Seriously?" several times. First of all, I can't believe how much they overpaid. There has been talk of Jones being lucky to get a one year deal, let alone a multi-year contract, let alone one worth $36 million. The guy hit .222 last year! Now, Jones is only 30 and if he rebounds from his recent downfall, he has the potential to be a Hall of Famer. But the guy hit .222 last year! He struck out 138 times! I don't know how Scott Boras got him this deal, but SuperAgent may have redeemed himself for the A-Rod debacle. I don't know why the Dodgers didn't go after Rowand. By the way, if I'm Torre I offer a spring training tryout to Bernie Williams to bring him on as a utility outfielder, pinch hitter, and clubhouse leader. It's not likely, but hey, if I'm going to spend a whole post on the villain of the '96 World Series, I have to at least mention the hero.
My problem with Jones isn't personal. For all I know, he could be a great guy. But in my mind, he'll always be the kid who hit 2 homers against the Yankees in their first World Series game in my lifetime. And in the mind of Dave G, you just can't recover from that.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
The Rise of the Tigers
Something horrible has happened.
Within a 24 hour span, the Yankees took themselves out of the running for Santana, ushering him toward Boston, and then watched the Tigers basically shove them out of the wild card spot. Somewhere Hank Steinbrenner is staring blankly into space.
The Yankees just became the fourth best team in the American League behind the Red Sox, Tigers, and Indians. Last night, as Hank Steinbrenner bit off his finger nails and gorged himself on room service, the Detroit Tigers nabbed Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis from the Marlins. The Tigers, who won the pennant in 2006 and faded in last year's pennant race, are now poised to compete with the Indians for the Central Division title.
The four best teams in the American League are now spread over only two divisions, which means that only three can make the playoffs. With Boston's recent dominance and superior pitching (even without Santana), the Yankees will have a hard time winning more games than the Red Sox over the course of the regular season. Most likely, they will have to compete for the wild card and if that's the case, they'll be fighting to post a better record than either Cleveland or Detroit. The question is whether the Yankees have the pitching to rack up the wins. Right now their staff is filled with guys who are unreliable because they're either too old or too young. Pettitte and Mussina are at the end of their careers. Chamberlain, Hughes, and Kennedy all have yet to pitch a full season in the majors. The staff is fraught with uncertainty. They could have one of the best rotations in baseball. They could have an average one, too. We won't know until the season starts and even then, the results are unlikely to be steady.
The Tigers just put themselves in a position to win a World Series. They add Cabrera (.320, 34, 119 last year) to potent lineup that already includes Magglio Ordonez (.363, 28, 139), Ivan Rodriguez, Gary Sheffield, Curtis Granderson, Carlos Guillen, Placido Polanco, and Edgar Renteria. The main question about Cabrera is his weight, but he has said that he has dedicated this off season to getting himself in prime physical condition. White Sox manager and former Marlins coach Ozzie Guillen has been critical of Cabrera's weight problem in the past. Recently, however, he came out in support of his friend. According to ESPN, Guillen said Cabrera "has lost about 15 pounds, maybe a little bit more. If you see Miguel Cabrera now, you will be surprised." Guillen added, "I told the Marlins he's going to be in the best shape you've ever seen him in. Whoever gets this guy is going to have a heck of a ballplayer with a different mentality...He has the power and talent to be one of the best players ever."
Whether or not Cabrera's weakness at third is due to his weight, he has offered to move to first base or the outfield in order to help his team. It seems the Tigers will take him up on that offer. Yankees manager Joe Girardi, who managed Cabrera on the Marlins, said, "He's a complete player. I always marveled at how well he knew the game, and how he was willing to teach the game - even though he was a young player - to other young players." The Yankees signed A-Rod, but the Tigers may have just acquired A-Rod minus seven years.
Dontrelle Willis' performance in his first few seasons earned him comparisons to a young Dwight Gooden. He helped lead the Marlins to a World Series title in 2003 and won 22 games in 2005. Since that year, he has won 22 games in two seasons combined and struggled last year with a 5.17 ERA. We have seen over the past two years that he is not Gooden. But he is still good. Willis will see more run support in Detroit than he could ever have imagined in Miami and his arrival brings to the Tigers an experienced left-hander with a World Series ring and a media-ready personality. He should jump into the number two spot in the Tigers rotation between Justin Verlander and Jeremy Bonderman. My biggest concern would be how he would handle pitching in the cold weather in late-season Detroit.
The Tigers are taking the "win now" approach, which has to be nice for Jim Leyland. The club knows its lineup is aging quickly and that its manager (who has a ring of his own) might not stick around long enough to see all his prospects become pros. With the Indians overpowering them this year and the Red Sox and Yankees always possible playoff opponents, the Tigers acted quickly to give themselves the edge. They became the best or second best team in the American League (the Sox might have the advantage because of pitching) and are poised to make a run at a championship.
Again, Hank arbitrarily stops negotiating with the Twins, basically giving Santana to Boston. He then watches as the Tigers stage a coup. You know how if you have a veteran pitcher going deep into a playoff game, you hesitate to replace him because 50% of the veteran is still better than 100% of the rookie? Yeah, that's George and Hank Steinbrenner.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
The Deal is Dead(line)
I'm not exactly sure why Hank Steinbrenner imposed this deadline on the Santana deal. Was it to pressure the Twins into trading him on Monday? Was it to...nope, that's all I got. I have no idea. It looks like Hank was just tired of being strung along but with Theo Epstein waiting patiently up in Boston, isn't it Hank's job to play that game? I admire his stoicism but if you have a chance to get the best pitcher in baseball and your arch rival is trying desperately to best your offer, should you really be banging your fist and leaving the table? I'm not sure I get this one.
Now the Yankees are beyond their "deadline" and the Red Sox reportedly just offered a fifth player for Johan Santana. The Yanks' rotation is about as thin and beaten up as Brian Cashman, with an aging Andy Pettitte, an aging Mike Mussina, and three young pitchers who have never played a full season in the majors. If the Red Sox get Santana, their rotation will be Santana, Beckett, Schiling, Dice-K, and Lester/Wakefield/Buckholtz. We have Chien-Ming Wang, sure, but he'd be the third guy at best in that Red Sox rotation.
We are now at Deadline + 17 hours and Hank has to be locked in his hotel room, surrounded by hundreds of cigarette butts, and pulling fists of hair out every minute. The pressure is mounting. At Deadline + 18, he's prepared to give up A-Rod, Jeter, and the ghost of Mickey Mantle. I can't imagine that Hank Steinbrenner is anything but a nervous wreck right now. If the Red Sox land the best pitcher in the game, the successes of Hank's first off season will be forgotten. I'm ok with the Yankees not getting Santana - if the Red Sox don't get him either. If we don't make the trade, we keep the big three in tact and keep Melky in centerfield. Great! But if Santana and Beckett anchor the Sox rotation for the next decade, does it really matter? I don't understand why Hank instituted this deadline and allowed the Sox this advantage. Maybe he's too new. Maybe he's too inexperienced. Maybe he's too stupid. Most likely, he's just a Steinbrenner: stubborn and irrational. But one thing is certain: if Santana ends up in Boston, Yankee fans might set a deadline on when they might run this guy out of town.
Now the Yankees are beyond their "deadline" and the Red Sox reportedly just offered a fifth player for Johan Santana. The Yanks' rotation is about as thin and beaten up as Brian Cashman, with an aging Andy Pettitte, an aging Mike Mussina, and three young pitchers who have never played a full season in the majors. If the Red Sox get Santana, their rotation will be Santana, Beckett, Schiling, Dice-K, and Lester/Wakefield/Buckholtz. We have Chien-Ming Wang, sure, but he'd be the third guy at best in that Red Sox rotation.
We are now at Deadline + 17 hours and Hank has to be locked in his hotel room, surrounded by hundreds of cigarette butts, and pulling fists of hair out every minute. The pressure is mounting. At Deadline + 18, he's prepared to give up A-Rod, Jeter, and the ghost of Mickey Mantle. I can't imagine that Hank Steinbrenner is anything but a nervous wreck right now. If the Red Sox land the best pitcher in the game, the successes of Hank's first off season will be forgotten. I'm ok with the Yankees not getting Santana - if the Red Sox don't get him either. If we don't make the trade, we keep the big three in tact and keep Melky in centerfield. Great! But if Santana and Beckett anchor the Sox rotation for the next decade, does it really matter? I don't understand why Hank instituted this deadline and allowed the Sox this advantage. Maybe he's too new. Maybe he's too inexperienced. Maybe he's too stupid. Most likely, he's just a Steinbrenner: stubborn and irrational. But one thing is certain: if Santana ends up in Boston, Yankee fans might set a deadline on when they might run this guy out of town.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
What Are You Waiting For, James Dolan?!?!?
We have reached "Are you f'ing kidding me?" status here. FIRE ISIAH THOMAS!
Was tonight's 45 point loss bad enough for you? How about the sexual harassment case? How about the mid-air fist fight with the point guard? How about the draft day blunders? How about the bad trades? How about the losses? And the losses? And the losses? How about the humiliation? How about the embarrassment? Have you no pride, James Dolan? Have you no balls? This is ridiculous. What a f***ing joke!
The Knicks scored 59 tonight against a Celtics team that played Garnett, Allen, and Pierce for only 22, 29, and 29 minutes each, respectively. "We take two steps forward and one giant step back," Isiah said after the game. "I don't know where this game came from." I'm going to venture a guess, Isiah. It came from you. You are the head coach. Losing by one point can be a single player's fault. Losing by 45 is not one or two or five or ten players' fault. That's about the team's leadership - or lack thereof. You don't know where this game came from? Look in the mirror, man.
James Dolan, you have to make a move here. You have to. This has passed the point of funny. This has passed the point of embarrassing. This is simply gut-wrenching. If you have any desire to turn your team - no, screw that, New York's team - around, then your first move has to be to fire Isiah Thomas. Now. Immediately. Today. This can wait no longer. In no other line of work would Isiah still have a job. Let's say you own a McDonald's and bring Isiah in to manage it. He hires and overpays horrible employees, sexually harasses one of your executives, gets into a fist fight with the counter guy and then publicly caves to blackmail from him, loses profit every day, pisses off all the customers, and oversees the downfall of your entire store. Then, after the Burger King down the street brings in all the profit, he says "I don't know where this came from." What do you do, James? Promote him?
If George Steinbrenner owned the Knicks, Isiah would have been lined up against a wall and shot a long time ago. You don't even have the guts to publicly call him out. You, sir, are a joke. Get the hell out of New York. And take Isiah with you.
Was tonight's 45 point loss bad enough for you? How about the sexual harassment case? How about the mid-air fist fight with the point guard? How about the draft day blunders? How about the bad trades? How about the losses? And the losses? And the losses? How about the humiliation? How about the embarrassment? Have you no pride, James Dolan? Have you no balls? This is ridiculous. What a f***ing joke!
The Knicks scored 59 tonight against a Celtics team that played Garnett, Allen, and Pierce for only 22, 29, and 29 minutes each, respectively. "We take two steps forward and one giant step back," Isiah said after the game. "I don't know where this game came from." I'm going to venture a guess, Isiah. It came from you. You are the head coach. Losing by one point can be a single player's fault. Losing by 45 is not one or two or five or ten players' fault. That's about the team's leadership - or lack thereof. You don't know where this game came from? Look in the mirror, man.
James Dolan, you have to make a move here. You have to. This has passed the point of funny. This has passed the point of embarrassing. This is simply gut-wrenching. If you have any desire to turn your team - no, screw that, New York's team - around, then your first move has to be to fire Isiah Thomas. Now. Immediately. Today. This can wait no longer. In no other line of work would Isiah still have a job. Let's say you own a McDonald's and bring Isiah in to manage it. He hires and overpays horrible employees, sexually harasses one of your executives, gets into a fist fight with the counter guy and then publicly caves to blackmail from him, loses profit every day, pisses off all the customers, and oversees the downfall of your entire store. Then, after the Burger King down the street brings in all the profit, he says "I don't know where this came from." What do you do, James? Promote him?
If George Steinbrenner owned the Knicks, Isiah would have been lined up against a wall and shot a long time ago. You don't even have the guts to publicly call him out. You, sir, are a joke. Get the hell out of New York. And take Isiah with you.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
This Week in Football
1. Sean Taylor, 1983-2007
Sean Taylor died today at the age of 24. I didn't know him and I wouldn't profess to be a big fan of his, but this is a sad day for anyone who follows football. Having lived in the Washington area throughout his career, I have had the opportunity to see Taylor play over the years and have watched him evolve into one of the premier defensive players in the game. It's sad to see anyone so young be cut down by violence, regardless of whom they are, but I can't remember another time when such a prominent athlete has ever been killed during the prime of his career.
At 24, Taylor had already established himself as one of the League's dominant defenders and by all accounts, his recent personal maturation positioned him to play smarter, work harder, and possibly become the secondary's version of Lawrence Taylor. His death leaves a gaping hole not only in the Redskins' secondary, but also in their locker room and in the lives of his teammates, family, and friends. #21 will be missed.
2. Little Giants
After watching the Giants, or more accurately Eli Manning, crumble against the Vikings, my friend Scott said the following: "Do those guys even practice?" Manning passed the ball like Greg Paulus Sunday, throwing four interceptions, three of which were returned for touchdowns. With Peyton in the stands (probably filming a commercial), little brother played the worst game of his career, his coach considered benching him, and the New York media is already calling for his head. But should they be?
Eli had a bad game. He's a young quarterback. That's going to happen. But what did we learn here that we didn't already know? That he's not Peyton Manning? Yup, got it. The kid had a bad day and sooner or later if he has enough bad days, he'll be gone. But I think this game is getting overblown. Eli Manning is not a great NFL quarterback, but he is a good one. The guy led his team to a 7-3 start and earned his teammates' respect this year, on and off the field. If his name wasn't Manning, expectations would be lower, there would be less pressure, and we might be hearing more about his good qualities instead of his bad ones. He's not Ben Rothlisberger. He's not Carson Palmer. He's certainly not Peyton Manning. But he's not bad either. Next Sunday, he'll take on Rex Grossman in a battle of the embattled. The Giants are the better team and should win this game. But both quarterbacks will be fighting for their jobs and both teams will be fighting for playoff contention. This should be a good one.
3. Patriot Games
I don’t understand how the Eagles were 22-point underdogs in this one. I don’t. They have one of the best, most consistent defenses in the NFL, including a secondary that eats up outside routes like Madden at a Thanksgiving dinner table. I guess the theory was that no defense could stop the Pats from scoring 35 points and that a McNabbless offense would stop in its tracks against New England. Vegas was wrong.
The Eagles came into this game with a chip on their shoulders. AJ Feeley played miraculous football for all but two bookend plays, both of which happened to be intercepted. In between those errant passes, he led the offense better than McNabb has all season. If I were an Eagles fan, I’d be asking myself why my team plays better without its star quarterback. Between Jeff Garcia last year and Feeley this year, the E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles look a lot stronger without the injury-plagued McNabb. QB controversy, anyone?
As far as the Pats go, I don’t see this game as a step back for them. I see it as a step forward. The Birds shut down the outer lanes and took away their number one option in Moss. Still, Brady found a way to win. Wes Welker stepped up and caught 13 passes for 149 yards. The defense made two crucial interceptions. They may go 19-0 but do people really expect them to run away with every game? The Pats will not win in the playoffs if they are not tested before they get there. This game and the Colts game are really the only times we’ve seen them in trouble all season. The League is too competitive for them to win 19 blowouts. Some games will be close and in a game when the Eagles played them close from beginning to end (maybe outplayed them), they still pulled out a victory. This should be an encouraging sign for Bill Belichick.
4. Mud-day Night Football
The Pittsburgh Steelers should be ashamed that they forced the Dolphins to play on that field and they’re lucky they weren’t made to forfeit.
5. Terps Give NC State the Business
Enjoy this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=gAMtCCezpfU
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Ralph Friedgen Could Play Point Guard for Duke
I turned on the Duke-Illinois game tonight and the first thing I saw was Greg Paulus dribbling off his foot and then shoving a guy who was driving down the lane. Maybe someday someone will explain to me why they think he is good. I've been saying this for years. He may be one of the worst point guards I've ever seen. He has a habit of passing balls to the fat guy in the second row and routinely dribbles balls off his foot. This year, he's easily the fourth best guard on that team behind Henderson, Nelson, and Scheyer. If he played on Maryland last year, he would have been the fifth best guard at best (Strawberry, Hayes, Vazquez and even Jones were better players than Paulus).
This isn't an "I hate Duke" thing. I have no problem saying how good Redick or Deng or Duhon or Williams were when they played at Cameron. But seriously, this kid can't play basketball. I don't understand it. Duke is one of the premier programs in the country and they get this kid? And trust him? And stick with him? For three years?!? He is playing the most important position for possibly the best program in the country. It would be like the Yankees hiring Steve Bartman as manager. I just don't get it. Paulus was the top quarterback prospect out of high school a few years ago and was recruited to play at Notre Dame. Seeing as how Charlie Weis could use a QB and Coach K already has a trio of talented guards, I'm thinking Paulus might want to consider a move. He will never make the NBA. If he has a shot at the NFL, he should throw all his eggs in that basket and go for it. Then again, the eggs would probably miss the basket and go flying into the crowd.
Results of Dave G's Football Picks for Week 11: 11-5
This isn't an "I hate Duke" thing. I have no problem saying how good Redick or Deng or Duhon or Williams were when they played at Cameron. But seriously, this kid can't play basketball. I don't understand it. Duke is one of the premier programs in the country and they get this kid? And trust him? And stick with him? For three years?!? He is playing the most important position for possibly the best program in the country. It would be like the Yankees hiring Steve Bartman as manager. I just don't get it. Paulus was the top quarterback prospect out of high school a few years ago and was recruited to play at Notre Dame. Seeing as how Charlie Weis could use a QB and Coach K already has a trio of talented guards, I'm thinking Paulus might want to consider a move. He will never make the NBA. If he has a shot at the NFL, he should throw all his eggs in that basket and go for it. Then again, the eggs would probably miss the basket and go flying into the crowd.
Results of Dave G's Football Picks for Week 11: 11-5
Friday, November 16, 2007
WEEKEND BLITZ
Barry Bonds. A-Rod. Colts. Knicks. Weekend Football Picks.
1. I'm so Indicted!
This is it, folks. For the last decade, we watched the homers pile up and the accusations fly and we waited for the other shoe to drop. Yesterday, it did. Barry Bonds was indicted on four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice for his role in the BALCO investigation. The indictment says, "During the criminal investigation, evidence was obtained including positive tests for the presence of anabolic steroids and other performance-enhancing substances for Bonds and other professional athletes." Like I said, this is it. Bonds now faces up to thirty years in prison, his career is over, and his chances for Cooperstown are quickly fading. On August 7th, Bonds broke Hank Aaron's career home run record. On November 15th, he was indicted by a federal grand jury. Never has an athlete so quickly fallen from greatness. I'm going to pitch a reality show to FOX: Barry Bonds and OJ Simpson as cellmates. Call it Juice.
2. A-gain?
Alex Rodriguez and the New York Yankees agreed to a $275 million deal that would keep A-Rod in pinstripes for the next decade. The contract, while considerably less than he had initially sought, would also allow him to share revenue generated from his pursuit of Bonds' record. For anyone who has ever questioned the greatness of the Yankees, try to imagine the best player of all time swallowing his pride and crawling back to any other team. Try. I dare you. Let's just hope he didn't sign so quickly because he knew his name would be on the Mitchell Report.
On another note, how is nobody really talking about the fact that the Yankees now have a catcher signed until he's 40, a third baseman signed until he's 42, and closer almost signed until he's 42? Pretty soon their pre-signing physicals are going to include colonoscopies. I'm waiting for George Steinbrenner to suit up.
3. The Colts are Free(ney) Falling
A few weeks ago, the Indianapolis Colts were undefeated and poised to challenge the Patriots down the stretch. This weekend, they will try to avoid their third straight loss in a week when more key players were taken out the mix than in the episode one, season five of 24. First, Marvin Harrison went down with a bruised knee. Then Dallas Clark was sidelined by a concussion. Now Dwight Freeney, the highest paid defensive player in the NFL and the only guy to rattle Tom Brady this year, is out for the season with a fractured left foot. Bob Sanders, Robert Mathis, and Anthony Gonzales were all held from practice this week. Tony Dungy has a harder job this week than Barry Bonds' lawyer. And let's not forget that Peyton Manning threw six picks his last time out and Adam Vinateiri missed two kicks. This team is falling apart fast.
4. No witty joke here. The Knicks are just a mess.
To quote Chris Russo in his rant against Pacman Jones, "KICK HIM THE HELL OUT!" The same can and must be said about James Dolan, Isaiah Thomas and the New York Knicks. Kick them all the hell out. This is a f-cking joke. What an embarassment to the city of New York and to the entire NBA. David Stern should condemn this team, get the owners to vote James Dolan out of the league, and put the Knicks up for sale. Michael Bloomberg will be out of a job in a few years. He should buy the team and set it on the right path. If Bloomberg can run the city of New York, he could certainly run its basketball team. Jimmy Dolan can't even run a faucet. I've never been so embarassed to root for a team in my life.
5. NFL Picks
Here are my picks for this weekend's NFL games. No point spread here. Just wins and losses.
1. Tampa Bay at Atlanta - BUCANEERS
2. Arizona at Cincinatti - BENGALS
3. Giants at Detroit - LIONS
4. Carolina at Greenbay - PACKERS
5. Kansas City at Indianapolis - COLTS
6. Oakland at Minnesota - VIKINGS
7. Miami at Philadelphia - EAGLES
8. San Diego at Jacksonville - CHARGERS
9. Cleveland at Baltimore - BROWNS
10. New Orleans at Houston - SAINTS
11. Pittsburgh at Jets - STEELERS
12. Washington at Dallas - COWBOYS
13. St. Louis at San Francisco - RAMS
14. Chicago at Seattle - SEAHAWKS
15. New England at Buffalo - PATRIOTS
16. Tennessee at Denver - BRONCOS
Enjoy the weekend.
1. I'm so Indicted!
This is it, folks. For the last decade, we watched the homers pile up and the accusations fly and we waited for the other shoe to drop. Yesterday, it did. Barry Bonds was indicted on four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice for his role in the BALCO investigation. The indictment says, "During the criminal investigation, evidence was obtained including positive tests for the presence of anabolic steroids and other performance-enhancing substances for Bonds and other professional athletes." Like I said, this is it. Bonds now faces up to thirty years in prison, his career is over, and his chances for Cooperstown are quickly fading. On August 7th, Bonds broke Hank Aaron's career home run record. On November 15th, he was indicted by a federal grand jury. Never has an athlete so quickly fallen from greatness. I'm going to pitch a reality show to FOX: Barry Bonds and OJ Simpson as cellmates. Call it Juice.
2. A-gain?
Alex Rodriguez and the New York Yankees agreed to a $275 million deal that would keep A-Rod in pinstripes for the next decade. The contract, while considerably less than he had initially sought, would also allow him to share revenue generated from his pursuit of Bonds' record. For anyone who has ever questioned the greatness of the Yankees, try to imagine the best player of all time swallowing his pride and crawling back to any other team. Try. I dare you. Let's just hope he didn't sign so quickly because he knew his name would be on the Mitchell Report.
On another note, how is nobody really talking about the fact that the Yankees now have a catcher signed until he's 40, a third baseman signed until he's 42, and closer almost signed until he's 42? Pretty soon their pre-signing physicals are going to include colonoscopies. I'm waiting for George Steinbrenner to suit up.
3. The Colts are Free(ney) Falling
A few weeks ago, the Indianapolis Colts were undefeated and poised to challenge the Patriots down the stretch. This weekend, they will try to avoid their third straight loss in a week when more key players were taken out the mix than in the episode one, season five of 24. First, Marvin Harrison went down with a bruised knee. Then Dallas Clark was sidelined by a concussion. Now Dwight Freeney, the highest paid defensive player in the NFL and the only guy to rattle Tom Brady this year, is out for the season with a fractured left foot. Bob Sanders, Robert Mathis, and Anthony Gonzales were all held from practice this week. Tony Dungy has a harder job this week than Barry Bonds' lawyer. And let's not forget that Peyton Manning threw six picks his last time out and Adam Vinateiri missed two kicks. This team is falling apart fast.
4. No witty joke here. The Knicks are just a mess.
To quote Chris Russo in his rant against Pacman Jones, "KICK HIM THE HELL OUT!" The same can and must be said about James Dolan, Isaiah Thomas and the New York Knicks. Kick them all the hell out. This is a f-cking joke. What an embarassment to the city of New York and to the entire NBA. David Stern should condemn this team, get the owners to vote James Dolan out of the league, and put the Knicks up for sale. Michael Bloomberg will be out of a job in a few years. He should buy the team and set it on the right path. If Bloomberg can run the city of New York, he could certainly run its basketball team. Jimmy Dolan can't even run a faucet. I've never been so embarassed to root for a team in my life.
5. NFL Picks
Here are my picks for this weekend's NFL games. No point spread here. Just wins and losses.
1. Tampa Bay at Atlanta - BUCANEERS
2. Arizona at Cincinatti - BENGALS
3. Giants at Detroit - LIONS
4. Carolina at Greenbay - PACKERS
5. Kansas City at Indianapolis - COLTS
6. Oakland at Minnesota - VIKINGS
7. Miami at Philadelphia - EAGLES
8. San Diego at Jacksonville - CHARGERS
9. Cleveland at Baltimore - BROWNS
10. New Orleans at Houston - SAINTS
11. Pittsburgh at Jets - STEELERS
12. Washington at Dallas - COWBOYS
13. St. Louis at San Francisco - RAMS
14. Chicago at Seattle - SEAHAWKS
15. New England at Buffalo - PATRIOTS
16. Tennessee at Denver - BRONCOS
Enjoy the weekend.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
A-pology A-ccepted?
America Hates A-Rod, or so says ESPN. This week, the Worldwide Leader in Sports ran a poll asking readers to tell the network why they hate the best player of our time. The options were as follows:
a) Costs too much money
b) Cancer in the clubhouse
c) He's just not a winner
d) Just don't care for his personality
e) I'd want him on my team
Maybe that hammered it home for Rodriguez, who approached the Yankees this week and expressed regret for how he handled the whole opting-out situation. As you may remember, he opted out of his contract in the middle of Game 4 of the World Series, angering Yankees fans for deserting them and angering Red Sox fans for stealing their moment. This marks the only moment in history that Yankees fans and Red Sox fans got together in their hatred of one player.
Since, A-Rod has re-evaluated his behavior and his place with the Yankees organization and apparently badly wants to be back in pinstripes. According to a statement on his website, he and his wife have "a foundation with the club that has brought us comfort, stability and happiness." He might need to explain that one to me. He is hated here for all the reasons detailed in my earlier post, A Letter to Alex Rodriguez. His wife is disliked here for wearing a t-shirt to Yankee Stadium that read "F*** you." So I'm not entirely sure that this is the perfect place for the Rodriguez Family to stay.
But it is understandable, isn't it? The Yankees are the best organization in baseball. This is indisputable. Sorry, Sox fans. It's true. There is no more successful, more storied franchise in all of sports and it is fitting that A-Rod, who may just be the best player of all time, would want to finish his career in the Bronx and go into the Hall of Fame with the interlocking NY on his cap. According to John Harper of the New York Daily News, superagent Scott Boras told A-Rod that George Steinbrenner wanted him and that opting out wouldn't hurt his chances of signing with the club. However, Harper tells us, neither Boras or A-Rod counted on Hank Steinbrenner publicly and harshly telling A-Rod to screw off. The heat that A-Rod has taken over the last few weeks apparently sent him into a depressed state and it was out of this despair that he finally stood up to Boras and crawled back to the Yanks.
Barring injury, mental breakdown, or murder by Boras, Rodriguez will likely retire as the best player of all time. He will break Bonds' home run record. He may take a shot at Rose's hit record. And if this week plays out like it's supposed to, he'll do all that in a Yankee uniform. But there's more to it than that. This week may present a turning point in A-Rod's Hall of Fame career. His actions this week have spoken louder than any selflish words he has said over the course of his time in baseball. It seems he is tired of being seen as a prima donna, as a player whose decisions are driven by agents instead of by passion for the game. And this week, he has taken all the right steps to fix that image. By rebuking Boras and expressing humility and regret for his actions, A-Rod seems to have had his baseball Bar Mitzvah. He seems to be maturing, to be becoming a man. If he signs a 10-year deal with New York, he will have a decade with the greatest team in baseball to prove his worth as a team player. He will need to loosen up. He will need to become more media-savvy. He will need to win in the playoffs. But if his recent actions are any indication, this might just be a different A-Rod than we've seen in the past.
a) Costs too much money
b) Cancer in the clubhouse
c) He's just not a winner
d) Just don't care for his personality
e) I'd want him on my team
Maybe that hammered it home for Rodriguez, who approached the Yankees this week and expressed regret for how he handled the whole opting-out situation. As you may remember, he opted out of his contract in the middle of Game 4 of the World Series, angering Yankees fans for deserting them and angering Red Sox fans for stealing their moment. This marks the only moment in history that Yankees fans and Red Sox fans got together in their hatred of one player.
Since, A-Rod has re-evaluated his behavior and his place with the Yankees organization and apparently badly wants to be back in pinstripes. According to a statement on his website, he and his wife have "a foundation with the club that has brought us comfort, stability and happiness." He might need to explain that one to me. He is hated here for all the reasons detailed in my earlier post, A Letter to Alex Rodriguez. His wife is disliked here for wearing a t-shirt to Yankee Stadium that read "F*** you." So I'm not entirely sure that this is the perfect place for the Rodriguez Family to stay.
But it is understandable, isn't it? The Yankees are the best organization in baseball. This is indisputable. Sorry, Sox fans. It's true. There is no more successful, more storied franchise in all of sports and it is fitting that A-Rod, who may just be the best player of all time, would want to finish his career in the Bronx and go into the Hall of Fame with the interlocking NY on his cap. According to John Harper of the New York Daily News, superagent Scott Boras told A-Rod that George Steinbrenner wanted him and that opting out wouldn't hurt his chances of signing with the club. However, Harper tells us, neither Boras or A-Rod counted on Hank Steinbrenner publicly and harshly telling A-Rod to screw off. The heat that A-Rod has taken over the last few weeks apparently sent him into a depressed state and it was out of this despair that he finally stood up to Boras and crawled back to the Yanks.
Barring injury, mental breakdown, or murder by Boras, Rodriguez will likely retire as the best player of all time. He will break Bonds' home run record. He may take a shot at Rose's hit record. And if this week plays out like it's supposed to, he'll do all that in a Yankee uniform. But there's more to it than that. This week may present a turning point in A-Rod's Hall of Fame career. His actions this week have spoken louder than any selflish words he has said over the course of his time in baseball. It seems he is tired of being seen as a prima donna, as a player whose decisions are driven by agents instead of by passion for the game. And this week, he has taken all the right steps to fix that image. By rebuking Boras and expressing humility and regret for his actions, A-Rod seems to have had his baseball Bar Mitzvah. He seems to be maturing, to be becoming a man. If he signs a 10-year deal with New York, he will have a decade with the greatest team in baseball to prove his worth as a team player. He will need to loosen up. He will need to become more media-savvy. He will need to win in the playoffs. But if his recent actions are any indication, this might just be a different A-Rod than we've seen in the past.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
The Maryland Mystery
I spent much of this past Saturday night suspended in mid-air, counting loudly as I flew, my eyes glued to the scoreboard to see how much longer I would be afloat. I was, you see, being "pushed up" for each point Maryland scored, and on this particular night the Terps put up 42 on eighth-ranked Boston College. For a team that lost 16-13 to a barely-mediocre UNC team the previous week and slipped to 4-5 on the year, Maryland played well enough to surprise not only Boston College, but also its own fans. And we were surprised. Pleasantly.
The truth is that we needed this win. We needed it to help us remain bowl-eligible, sure, but we needed a hell of a lot more than that. We needed a reason to believe. We needed to feel like the team was hungry for victory. We needed to feel for once this season like Ralph Friedgen was doing his part. After all, we were doing ours. Week in and week out, at home and on the road, we were showing up. After a while, we started wondering why they weren't.
When a team puts up a combined 76 points in two games against top-ten teams (BC and Rutgers) and then gives up late leads to UVA, UNC, and Wake Forest, you begin to wonder if they're actually giving it their all every time. Clearly they can win. But why aren't they? Are they only playing just as hard as they think they have to? Is their coach is only trying to score as much as he thinks they need to? This, dear readers, is the Maryland Mystery. It's the eternal question of why our teams beat the best teams and lose to the worst, year in and year out. It's why we went 6-0 against all North Carolina teams last year in basketball and then lost to Miami twice. It's why we rarely blow teams out and are rarely blown out. We play to the level of the competition.
Originally, I was going to use this post to try to solve the Maryland Mystery. I can't. I'd be wasting my time and yours trying to BS my way through an explanation. The truth is that I have no idea what it is about all Terp teams that make them try only as hard as they think they need to that day. There's clearly something in the water in College Park. For someone who hasn't watched Maryland football or basketball consistently over the years, you might think I'm exaggerating or speaking out of frustration. I'm not. I'm speaking from experience. There's only so many times you can watch the Terps Bball team beat up on Duke and then lose to Florida State or watch Ralph Friedgen run the ball on third-and-long in a losing game before you become convinced that our teams aren't always in it to win it. I'm not saying we want to lose. I'm saying we don't do everything we can to win. And for a University that likes to consider itself among the top sports programs in the country, that is simply inexcusable.
On Saturday, Maryland crushed Matt Ryan's hopes for the Heisman and took Boston College out of contention. Funny. We usually only do that to ourselves.
The truth is that we needed this win. We needed it to help us remain bowl-eligible, sure, but we needed a hell of a lot more than that. We needed a reason to believe. We needed to feel like the team was hungry for victory. We needed to feel for once this season like Ralph Friedgen was doing his part. After all, we were doing ours. Week in and week out, at home and on the road, we were showing up. After a while, we started wondering why they weren't.
When a team puts up a combined 76 points in two games against top-ten teams (BC and Rutgers) and then gives up late leads to UVA, UNC, and Wake Forest, you begin to wonder if they're actually giving it their all every time. Clearly they can win. But why aren't they? Are they only playing just as hard as they think they have to? Is their coach is only trying to score as much as he thinks they need to? This, dear readers, is the Maryland Mystery. It's the eternal question of why our teams beat the best teams and lose to the worst, year in and year out. It's why we went 6-0 against all North Carolina teams last year in basketball and then lost to Miami twice. It's why we rarely blow teams out and are rarely blown out. We play to the level of the competition.
Originally, I was going to use this post to try to solve the Maryland Mystery. I can't. I'd be wasting my time and yours trying to BS my way through an explanation. The truth is that I have no idea what it is about all Terp teams that make them try only as hard as they think they need to that day. There's clearly something in the water in College Park. For someone who hasn't watched Maryland football or basketball consistently over the years, you might think I'm exaggerating or speaking out of frustration. I'm not. I'm speaking from experience. There's only so many times you can watch the Terps Bball team beat up on Duke and then lose to Florida State or watch Ralph Friedgen run the ball on third-and-long in a losing game before you become convinced that our teams aren't always in it to win it. I'm not saying we want to lose. I'm saying we don't do everything we can to win. And for a University that likes to consider itself among the top sports programs in the country, that is simply inexcusable.
On Saturday, Maryland crushed Matt Ryan's hopes for the Heisman and took Boston College out of contention. Funny. We usually only do that to ourselves.
Monday, November 12, 2007
My (Peyton's) Apology
Dear Colts Fans,
I'm sorry for throwing a franchise-record six interceptions last night.
Sincerely,
Peyton Manning
P.S. Dave G was right about me.
I'm sorry for throwing a franchise-record six interceptions last night.
Sincerely,
Peyton Manning
P.S. Dave G was right about me.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Rookie of the Year vs. Little Big League: A Critical Comparison
As a child of the nineties, I grew up in the heyday of feel good, geared-toward-children-but-still-enjoyable-for-adults sports movies. Angels in the Outfield, Little Giants, and the Big Green all enjoyed moderate commercial success. But two films, I think, stand out among the others as two of the greatest films in motion picture history: Rookie of the Year and Little Big League. Contrary to popular belief, these are in no way the same movie. In one, a child plays for a major league team. In the other, a child manages a major league team. Huge difference. The two movies are very similar though, and in this post I will compare them based on the criteria that seem to have been considered every time they wrote a kids-in-sports movie back in the early 90's.
But first a recap:
In Rookie of the Year, young Henry Rowengartner (Rulenfurter?) breaks his arm and is immediately able to pitch over 100 mph. After firing a baseball from the outfield stands to home plate at Wrigley Field, the Cubs offer him a major league contract and Henry becomes a big leaguer. Along the way, he befriends an aging pitcher named Chet "The Rocket" Steadman and a goofy pitching coach who locks himself between the connecting doors at a hotel. He also battles a villainous opposing hitter. Henry helps get the Cubs to the playoffs even after he loses his phenomenal speed, but not before helping the players rekindle their love for the game. He then leaves Major League Baseball to pursue a normal childhood.
In Little Big League, young Billy Heywood's grandfather dies and leaves him the Minnesota Twins. After firing a loud-mouth manager, played masterfully by Dennis Farina, Billy hires himself as manager and sets upon leading the Twins to the playoffs. Along the way, he befriends an aging firstbaseman named Lou Collins and a goofy pitcher who throws waterballoons out of hotel windows. He also battles a villainous opposing hitter (Ken Griffey, Jr). Billy helps the Twins get to a one-game playoff but loses in the end. It's ok though because he helps the players rekindle their love for the game. He then leaves Major League Baseball to pursue a normal childhood.
So which movie is best? In order to judge the movies on a fair basis, I'll use certain criteria that were characteristic of every sports movie of that era: 1) a likeable kid to play the lead 2) his two pudgier, dorkier friends 3) the event that puts him in the big time 4) the aging star player who teaches him a valuable life lesson 5) the supportive but weary mother 6) the comic relief -- er, coaching staff 7) the eccentric teammates 8) the villainous opposing player 9) the moment the kid realizes he wants to just be a kid and 10) the classic moment that makes the movie memorable.
Play Ball!
1) Thomas Ian Nicholas vs. Luke Edwards
While both played the parts well, I'd have to give this edge to Mr. Nicholas. He was younger and cuter and he would later bang Tara Reid in American Pie. Case closed. Winner: Rookie of the Year
2) Clark and George from ROTY vs. Chuck and Joey from LBL
This one goes to Chuck and Joey, mostly because Clark and George should be the names of your grandpa's friends, not your own. I have never met a Clark or a George who is my age. I think whoever wrote Rookie of the Year (I'm looking at you Sam Harper!) picked the names of his two favorite great uncles to fill the names of Henry's friends. Also, Chuck's line (or was it Joey's?) "When my grandfather died, all he left me was a sweater" sets the tone for the movie. And Joey's line (or was it Chuck's?) "Shoulda started Webman" not only added comic relief but also gave Billy a a great idea for a last minute lineup change. Most importantly, though, Chuck and Joey would sit on a fourth friend, Lowell, just to humiliate him. Any movie where a main character sits on another character for fun has to win this category. Winner: Little Big League
3) Henry slipping on a baseball vs. Billy's grandfather dying
These are two awful events. I'm sure Little Big League was responsible for teaching some little kids about the concept of death and I'm certain that Rookie of the Year led some kids to purposely break their arms so they could pitch for the Cubs. But since dying is slightly worse than breaking your arm and since Little Big League featured Oscar winner Jason Robards as Billy's grandfather, we're going to give this one to them. Winner: Little Big League
4) Chet "The Rocket" Steadman vs. Lou Collins
Gary Busey's performance as The Rocket was simply more believable than Timothy Busfield's as Lou. That has more to do with the actors than with their abilities. Busey's previous film roles included Mr. Joshua in Lethal Weapon and Commander Krill in Under Siege. Busfield's previous roles included Arnold Poindexter in Revenge of the Nerds and Mark, the pessimistic banker from Field of Dreams who tried to shut down the field and its dreams. But somehow, Lou's quest for on-field success and off-field romance with Billy's mom made him a much more three-dimensional character than Steadman. Also, he's not played by Gary Busey. Winner: Little Big League
5) Mary Rowengartner vs. Jenny Heywood
These are two blond, lanky women. They both care for their sons and want what is best for them. Mary was a former star pitcher whose floating pitch provided the inspiration that led Henry to beat the Mets. But she also married that jerk mcgerk who tried to exploit Henry's newfound talent. Jenny was a cool lady who ended up with Lou Collins. But, she never pitched a floater in her life! Winner: Push
6) Daniel Stern's Pitching Coach and the Tongue-tied Manager vs. Dennis Farina and Mac, The Grizzled Pitching Coach.
To pretend that Little Big League can win this one would be a sham. Rosenfurter! Rudabaga! Hoosenwhatsels! He just couldn't say Rowengartner for the life of him! And Daniel Stern locking himself between those connecting doors - Wow! Simply iconic. Winner: Rookie of the Year
7) The Rocket and Really No One Else vs. Lou, Bowers, Lonnie Ritter and Mickey Scales, among others.
Aside from the Rocket, who wasn't that funny, the Cubs were rather anonymous in Rookie of the Year. Little Big League offered a cadre of unique, humorous characters. From the playing-while-injuried Lonnie to the hopeless rookie Scales to the water-balloon throwing Bowers (played by Weekend at Bernie's own Jonathan Silverman) to Lou Collins, Little Big League had it all. Seriously though, it seems like they just picked a bunch of random guys who had been in at least one moderately successful movie before. Hmm, let's take the ladies man who spent a weekend with a dead body, put him with the guy who's played a nerd in fifteen straight movies, and put them on a baseball team together. I see a hit. Winner: Little Big League
8) The Scary Met vs. Ken Griffey, Jr.
Rookie of the Year got a guy who kind of looks like John Kruk to play Heddo, the terrifying Mets slugger. The actor, Tom Milanovich, is also well known for such roles as Guard, Thug #2, and Man in Bar. Go to imdb.com. I swear I'm not making this up. Little Big League got Ken Griffey, Jr, one of the best players in the history of the game, to play himself. How is this even a comparison? Winner: Little Big League
9) Henry Slipping On the Ball Again vs. Griffey Robbing Lou of a Home Run
Henry is driven back to his old life after he slips on another baseball - who'd have thought?!? - and loses his pitching ability. After struggling against Heddo, he peels back a piece of his glove to find out that his mom was the star pitcher, not his dad as he previously thought, and heeds her advice to "float it". He, now again a normal 12-year old, strikes out Heddo and wins the game.
Billy's magical season ends when his stepdad-to-be, the great Lou Collins, gets robbed of a home run by Junior. He hits the ball, by the way, off of RANDY JOHNSON!!! That ball went from Randy Johnson to Arnold Poindexter to Ken Griffey, Jr! It doesn't get much better than that. Anyway, Lou's outlook after the game shows Billy that there are more important things than winning a baseball game. He summarily resigns his post and returns to childhood. Winner: Push
10) "Pitcher's Got A Big Butt" vs. None, really
Rookie of the Year was famous for two of Henry's quotes: "Pitcher's Got A Big Butt" and "Funky Buttloving!"
The first, "Pitcher's Got A Big Butt!" became a taunt that we used in little league for years to come. It was especially effective when the pitcher did actually have a big butt. "Funky Buttloving" was at the time a funny, innocuous phrase. I wonder now though if it referred to Henry's latent homosexuality. We may never know.
Winner: Rookie of the Year
In the end, Little Big League wins by a score of five to three. It's not too late for Henry Rowengartner though. I'd like to see new movie in which Billy Heywood reinstates himself as manager and hires the new age-appropriate Henry Rowengartner to pitch for the Twins. Somehow though I don't think Thomas Ian Nicholas and Luke Edwards draw a huge box office crowd. Tim Busfield on the other hand...
But first a recap:
In Rookie of the Year, young Henry Rowengartner (Rulenfurter?) breaks his arm and is immediately able to pitch over 100 mph. After firing a baseball from the outfield stands to home plate at Wrigley Field, the Cubs offer him a major league contract and Henry becomes a big leaguer. Along the way, he befriends an aging pitcher named Chet "The Rocket" Steadman and a goofy pitching coach who locks himself between the connecting doors at a hotel. He also battles a villainous opposing hitter. Henry helps get the Cubs to the playoffs even after he loses his phenomenal speed, but not before helping the players rekindle their love for the game. He then leaves Major League Baseball to pursue a normal childhood.
In Little Big League, young Billy Heywood's grandfather dies and leaves him the Minnesota Twins. After firing a loud-mouth manager, played masterfully by Dennis Farina, Billy hires himself as manager and sets upon leading the Twins to the playoffs. Along the way, he befriends an aging firstbaseman named Lou Collins and a goofy pitcher who throws waterballoons out of hotel windows. He also battles a villainous opposing hitter (Ken Griffey, Jr). Billy helps the Twins get to a one-game playoff but loses in the end. It's ok though because he helps the players rekindle their love for the game. He then leaves Major League Baseball to pursue a normal childhood.
So which movie is best? In order to judge the movies on a fair basis, I'll use certain criteria that were characteristic of every sports movie of that era: 1) a likeable kid to play the lead 2) his two pudgier, dorkier friends 3) the event that puts him in the big time 4) the aging star player who teaches him a valuable life lesson 5) the supportive but weary mother 6) the comic relief -- er, coaching staff 7) the eccentric teammates 8) the villainous opposing player 9) the moment the kid realizes he wants to just be a kid and 10) the classic moment that makes the movie memorable.
Play Ball!
1) Thomas Ian Nicholas vs. Luke Edwards
While both played the parts well, I'd have to give this edge to Mr. Nicholas. He was younger and cuter and he would later bang Tara Reid in American Pie. Case closed. Winner: Rookie of the Year
2) Clark and George from ROTY vs. Chuck and Joey from LBL
This one goes to Chuck and Joey, mostly because Clark and George should be the names of your grandpa's friends, not your own. I have never met a Clark or a George who is my age. I think whoever wrote Rookie of the Year (I'm looking at you Sam Harper!) picked the names of his two favorite great uncles to fill the names of Henry's friends. Also, Chuck's line (or was it Joey's?) "When my grandfather died, all he left me was a sweater" sets the tone for the movie. And Joey's line (or was it Chuck's?) "Shoulda started Webman" not only added comic relief but also gave Billy a a great idea for a last minute lineup change. Most importantly, though, Chuck and Joey would sit on a fourth friend, Lowell, just to humiliate him. Any movie where a main character sits on another character for fun has to win this category. Winner: Little Big League
3) Henry slipping on a baseball vs. Billy's grandfather dying
These are two awful events. I'm sure Little Big League was responsible for teaching some little kids about the concept of death and I'm certain that Rookie of the Year led some kids to purposely break their arms so they could pitch for the Cubs. But since dying is slightly worse than breaking your arm and since Little Big League featured Oscar winner Jason Robards as Billy's grandfather, we're going to give this one to them. Winner: Little Big League
4) Chet "The Rocket" Steadman vs. Lou Collins
Gary Busey's performance as The Rocket was simply more believable than Timothy Busfield's as Lou. That has more to do with the actors than with their abilities. Busey's previous film roles included Mr. Joshua in Lethal Weapon and Commander Krill in Under Siege. Busfield's previous roles included Arnold Poindexter in Revenge of the Nerds and Mark, the pessimistic banker from Field of Dreams who tried to shut down the field and its dreams. But somehow, Lou's quest for on-field success and off-field romance with Billy's mom made him a much more three-dimensional character than Steadman. Also, he's not played by Gary Busey. Winner: Little Big League
5) Mary Rowengartner vs. Jenny Heywood
These are two blond, lanky women. They both care for their sons and want what is best for them. Mary was a former star pitcher whose floating pitch provided the inspiration that led Henry to beat the Mets. But she also married that jerk mcgerk who tried to exploit Henry's newfound talent. Jenny was a cool lady who ended up with Lou Collins. But, she never pitched a floater in her life! Winner: Push
6) Daniel Stern's Pitching Coach and the Tongue-tied Manager vs. Dennis Farina and Mac, The Grizzled Pitching Coach.
To pretend that Little Big League can win this one would be a sham. Rosenfurter! Rudabaga! Hoosenwhatsels! He just couldn't say Rowengartner for the life of him! And Daniel Stern locking himself between those connecting doors - Wow! Simply iconic. Winner: Rookie of the Year
7) The Rocket and Really No One Else vs. Lou, Bowers, Lonnie Ritter and Mickey Scales, among others.
Aside from the Rocket, who wasn't that funny, the Cubs were rather anonymous in Rookie of the Year. Little Big League offered a cadre of unique, humorous characters. From the playing-while-injuried Lonnie to the hopeless rookie Scales to the water-balloon throwing Bowers (played by Weekend at Bernie's own Jonathan Silverman) to Lou Collins, Little Big League had it all. Seriously though, it seems like they just picked a bunch of random guys who had been in at least one moderately successful movie before. Hmm, let's take the ladies man who spent a weekend with a dead body, put him with the guy who's played a nerd in fifteen straight movies, and put them on a baseball team together. I see a hit. Winner: Little Big League
8) The Scary Met vs. Ken Griffey, Jr.
Rookie of the Year got a guy who kind of looks like John Kruk to play Heddo, the terrifying Mets slugger. The actor, Tom Milanovich, is also well known for such roles as Guard, Thug #2, and Man in Bar. Go to imdb.com. I swear I'm not making this up. Little Big League got Ken Griffey, Jr, one of the best players in the history of the game, to play himself. How is this even a comparison? Winner: Little Big League
9) Henry Slipping On the Ball Again vs. Griffey Robbing Lou of a Home Run
Henry is driven back to his old life after he slips on another baseball - who'd have thought?!? - and loses his pitching ability. After struggling against Heddo, he peels back a piece of his glove to find out that his mom was the star pitcher, not his dad as he previously thought, and heeds her advice to "float it". He, now again a normal 12-year old, strikes out Heddo and wins the game.
Billy's magical season ends when his stepdad-to-be, the great Lou Collins, gets robbed of a home run by Junior. He hits the ball, by the way, off of RANDY JOHNSON!!! That ball went from Randy Johnson to Arnold Poindexter to Ken Griffey, Jr! It doesn't get much better than that. Anyway, Lou's outlook after the game shows Billy that there are more important things than winning a baseball game. He summarily resigns his post and returns to childhood. Winner: Push
10) "Pitcher's Got A Big Butt" vs. None, really
Rookie of the Year was famous for two of Henry's quotes: "Pitcher's Got A Big Butt" and "Funky Buttloving!"
The first, "Pitcher's Got A Big Butt!" became a taunt that we used in little league for years to come. It was especially effective when the pitcher did actually have a big butt. "Funky Buttloving" was at the time a funny, innocuous phrase. I wonder now though if it referred to Henry's latent homosexuality. We may never know.
Winner: Rookie of the Year
In the end, Little Big League wins by a score of five to three. It's not too late for Henry Rowengartner though. I'd like to see new movie in which Billy Heywood reinstates himself as manager and hires the new age-appropriate Henry Rowengartner to pitch for the Twins. Somehow though I don't think Thomas Ian Nicholas and Luke Edwards draw a huge box office crowd. Tim Busfield on the other hand...
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Hanky's Yankees
I will surely eat my words for what I am about to write: I applaud Hank Steinbrenner.
I have to imagine that George Steinbrenner is locked away in an attic of his family's estate somewhere, under constant medical attention and out of public view. By all accounts, George has slipped into the confines of old age and is suffering from dementia and even though he is said to be a crucial part of the Yankees' decision-making process, I'm sure his responsibilities have been relegated to sitting quietly and looking like George Steinbrenner. The sad thing is that he probably knows as much about baseball now as he did when he was mentally sound. But I'm not going to bash George too much. For all the insanity and drama of his Bronx Zoo, the man still led the Yankees to 10 pennants and six World Series championships. Those are impressive feats and we should celebrate his accomplishments. But he also made some crucial errors that would have crippled any team that didn't have the checkbook to buy its way out of trouble.
George's incessant need to win "right now" clouded his already-cloudly judgment. He was always quick to trade or release home-grown talent for big name stars, even if those players were past their primes and even if the team didn't need them. If you have Jeter, Posada, Matsui, Giambi, Williams, and Sheffield in your lineup already, you probably don't need Alex Rodriguez, especially when your pitching rotation includes Kevin Brown, Jose Contreras, Javier Vazquez, and a fifty-seven year old El Duque. Instead of building his team around a few stars and getting other guys that fit well in the system, George built a team entirely of big name players. That, in short, is the Steinbrenner Problem: the propensity to trade -- or fail to invest in -- young, home-grown prospects for older, expensive stars. He traded Willie McGee and Fred McGriff in the 80's and Jay Buhner and Mike Lowell in the 90's. He was talked out of trading Bernie Williams and Andy Pettitte several times and let countless other young prospects go before ever giving them a shot at the Bigs. But with King George fading quietly into the background and his sons rising to the throne, it seems that there might finally be a new way of thinking in the Bronx.
Hank Steinbrenner's first act as owner was to bid farewell to Yankee hero Joe Torre. This may be the worst first task in the history of any job, anywhere. There was no way for Hank to look good here and he looked awful. When the heir to the Yankee dynasty, who did nothing to earn his position except be born, decides not to rehire the greatest manager in generations (that contract offer was a sham), he will not look good. No way, no how. So for this moment, let's excuse that. It was his first act on the job and was certainly an unenviable task. It was not handled well. But the three things he has done - or not done - since then, deserve thunderous applause.
1. Letting A-Rod Go
Hanky's Yankees put together a record-$300 million dollar package to sign the best player of our time, Alex Rodriguez. They made a valiant effort to make the offer, but told A-Rod that if he opted out, they would not chase him. A-Rod opted out. Hank, in no uncertain terms, said goodbye. "If you don't want to be a Yankee and paid what you're being paid, we don't want you, that's the bottom line. You'd be hard-pressed to argue that point. If you don't understand the magnitude of being a Yankee and understand what that means, and being the highest-paid player in baseball, I think it's pretty obvious." The Yanks stopped chasing A-Rod on principle and picked up Abreu's option to keep a big bat in the heart of the lineup. Finally!!!!! The pride of the Yankees has returned! An owner is governing based on principles. It's about f'ing time!
2. Signing Girardi Over Mattingly
The Yankees signed Joe Girardi as manager, which was the best possible move that could have been made. It's also the way we know that George has absolutely no say anymore. Don Mattingly has always been George Steinbrenner's favorite Yankee. I'm convinced that if George could have traded both his sons, Hank and Hal, in a package deal for Donnie, he would have done it a long time ago. He brought Donnie in as coach to groom him to be manager and apparently suggested in a not-so-subtle manner that one day the job would be his. But when it came down to it, Hank and Hal went against George's wishes and hired the best man for the job. The truth is that Don Mattingly is no way capable of managing the Yankees and the fact that George wanted him is further proof of his irrationality. In the end, Hank and Hal picked the guy who had played for the Yankees' championship teams, who played catcher and thus knows the pitchers and the game, and who has a proven track record of winning as a manager in the Major Leagues. Just because Donnie Baseball played on the Yankees doesn't mean he is qualified to manage them. To spend hundreds of millions of dollars on player contracts and then put Don Mattingly at the helm would be like hiring Dave K. to fly the space shuttle Discovery just because he used to fly twin-engines. I'm 99% sure this analogy works.
3. Keeping Young Prospects Instead of Getting New Stars
Chamberlain, Hughes and Kennedy are the most exciting young pitchers in New York since Isringhausen, Pulsipher, and Wilson. But unlike the Mets' flops of the late nineties, these kids are GOOD. In George's day, this would have meant that they would be marked for trade bait. Hank seems to feel differently. The buzz has been abound about the Yankees possibly making a blockbuster trade for Marlins third baseman Miguel Cabrera, one of the best young hitters in the game. If Papa George was in charge, the Yankees would have traded Melky Cabrera and at least one of the Big Three for Miguel. But those days appear over. Hank indicated this week that the Yankees' future is in its home-grown talent. "It's pretty obvious which players we're not going to trade," Hank said yesterday. "Chamberlain, Hughes and even Kennedy. Not for a position player." THANK GOD. One great, young pitcher - let alone three - can anchor a rotation for a decade. Look at the Braves in the 1990's. Or for a Yankee reference, look at Whitey Ford or Andy Pettitte. Or Mariano Rivera in the bullpen. Hank's unwillingness to part with these pitchers signals a change in the 35-year Steinbrenner policy of shuffling prospects out the door faster than you can say Schowalter.
I hope I don't eat my words. I hope that in a week or a month or a year, I'm not writing about how I hate Hank Steinbrenner and how he's no more than a worse version of his father. But right now, he seems to be making all the moves his dad was too foolish to make all those years. He has exercised pride, intelligence, and restraint in the three key decisions he made after letting Torre go - three things we haven't really been able to associate with Papa George.
The 1996 Yankees began a dynasty that lasted a dozen seasons. If Hank keeps this up, the 2008 team might begin another. It's too bad George won't be able to appreciate it.
I have to imagine that George Steinbrenner is locked away in an attic of his family's estate somewhere, under constant medical attention and out of public view. By all accounts, George has slipped into the confines of old age and is suffering from dementia and even though he is said to be a crucial part of the Yankees' decision-making process, I'm sure his responsibilities have been relegated to sitting quietly and looking like George Steinbrenner. The sad thing is that he probably knows as much about baseball now as he did when he was mentally sound. But I'm not going to bash George too much. For all the insanity and drama of his Bronx Zoo, the man still led the Yankees to 10 pennants and six World Series championships. Those are impressive feats and we should celebrate his accomplishments. But he also made some crucial errors that would have crippled any team that didn't have the checkbook to buy its way out of trouble.
George's incessant need to win "right now" clouded his already-cloudly judgment. He was always quick to trade or release home-grown talent for big name stars, even if those players were past their primes and even if the team didn't need them. If you have Jeter, Posada, Matsui, Giambi, Williams, and Sheffield in your lineup already, you probably don't need Alex Rodriguez, especially when your pitching rotation includes Kevin Brown, Jose Contreras, Javier Vazquez, and a fifty-seven year old El Duque. Instead of building his team around a few stars and getting other guys that fit well in the system, George built a team entirely of big name players. That, in short, is the Steinbrenner Problem: the propensity to trade -- or fail to invest in -- young, home-grown prospects for older, expensive stars. He traded Willie McGee and Fred McGriff in the 80's and Jay Buhner and Mike Lowell in the 90's. He was talked out of trading Bernie Williams and Andy Pettitte several times and let countless other young prospects go before ever giving them a shot at the Bigs. But with King George fading quietly into the background and his sons rising to the throne, it seems that there might finally be a new way of thinking in the Bronx.
Hank Steinbrenner's first act as owner was to bid farewell to Yankee hero Joe Torre. This may be the worst first task in the history of any job, anywhere. There was no way for Hank to look good here and he looked awful. When the heir to the Yankee dynasty, who did nothing to earn his position except be born, decides not to rehire the greatest manager in generations (that contract offer was a sham), he will not look good. No way, no how. So for this moment, let's excuse that. It was his first act on the job and was certainly an unenviable task. It was not handled well. But the three things he has done - or not done - since then, deserve thunderous applause.
1. Letting A-Rod Go
Hanky's Yankees put together a record-$300 million dollar package to sign the best player of our time, Alex Rodriguez. They made a valiant effort to make the offer, but told A-Rod that if he opted out, they would not chase him. A-Rod opted out. Hank, in no uncertain terms, said goodbye. "If you don't want to be a Yankee and paid what you're being paid, we don't want you, that's the bottom line. You'd be hard-pressed to argue that point. If you don't understand the magnitude of being a Yankee and understand what that means, and being the highest-paid player in baseball, I think it's pretty obvious." The Yanks stopped chasing A-Rod on principle and picked up Abreu's option to keep a big bat in the heart of the lineup. Finally!!!!! The pride of the Yankees has returned! An owner is governing based on principles. It's about f'ing time!
2. Signing Girardi Over Mattingly
The Yankees signed Joe Girardi as manager, which was the best possible move that could have been made. It's also the way we know that George has absolutely no say anymore. Don Mattingly has always been George Steinbrenner's favorite Yankee. I'm convinced that if George could have traded both his sons, Hank and Hal, in a package deal for Donnie, he would have done it a long time ago. He brought Donnie in as coach to groom him to be manager and apparently suggested in a not-so-subtle manner that one day the job would be his. But when it came down to it, Hank and Hal went against George's wishes and hired the best man for the job. The truth is that Don Mattingly is no way capable of managing the Yankees and the fact that George wanted him is further proof of his irrationality. In the end, Hank and Hal picked the guy who had played for the Yankees' championship teams, who played catcher and thus knows the pitchers and the game, and who has a proven track record of winning as a manager in the Major Leagues. Just because Donnie Baseball played on the Yankees doesn't mean he is qualified to manage them. To spend hundreds of millions of dollars on player contracts and then put Don Mattingly at the helm would be like hiring Dave K. to fly the space shuttle Discovery just because he used to fly twin-engines. I'm 99% sure this analogy works.
3. Keeping Young Prospects Instead of Getting New Stars
Chamberlain, Hughes and Kennedy are the most exciting young pitchers in New York since Isringhausen, Pulsipher, and Wilson. But unlike the Mets' flops of the late nineties, these kids are GOOD. In George's day, this would have meant that they would be marked for trade bait. Hank seems to feel differently. The buzz has been abound about the Yankees possibly making a blockbuster trade for Marlins third baseman Miguel Cabrera, one of the best young hitters in the game. If Papa George was in charge, the Yankees would have traded Melky Cabrera and at least one of the Big Three for Miguel. But those days appear over. Hank indicated this week that the Yankees' future is in its home-grown talent. "It's pretty obvious which players we're not going to trade," Hank said yesterday. "Chamberlain, Hughes and even Kennedy. Not for a position player." THANK GOD. One great, young pitcher - let alone three - can anchor a rotation for a decade. Look at the Braves in the 1990's. Or for a Yankee reference, look at Whitey Ford or Andy Pettitte. Or Mariano Rivera in the bullpen. Hank's unwillingness to part with these pitchers signals a change in the 35-year Steinbrenner policy of shuffling prospects out the door faster than you can say Schowalter.
I hope I don't eat my words. I hope that in a week or a month or a year, I'm not writing about how I hate Hank Steinbrenner and how he's no more than a worse version of his father. But right now, he seems to be making all the moves his dad was too foolish to make all those years. He has exercised pride, intelligence, and restraint in the three key decisions he made after letting Torre go - three things we haven't really been able to associate with Papa George.
The 1996 Yankees began a dynasty that lasted a dozen seasons. If Hank keeps this up, the 2008 team might begin another. It's too bad George won't be able to appreciate it.
Monday, November 5, 2007
762*
"I don't think you can put an asterisk on the game of baseball, and I don't think the Hall of Fame can accept an asterisk," Bonds said. "You can't give people the right to change history."
Interesting. Barry's against changing history. Well how about this then: If Barry Bonds had never put steroids into his body, Hank Aaron would still be the home run king. How's that for changing history? Funny how he didn't seem to mind it then.
Barry said this week that if the Hall of Fame displays his ball, since branded with an asterisk by the ball's owner, Marc Ecko, then Bonds will never visit the Hall and would even boycott his own induction ceremony. First of all, Hall president Dale Petroskey is probably thanking the good lord for this stroke of luck. Now he knows how to keep Bonds from Cooperstown. If Major League Baseball has been too soft to catch Bonds cheating and ban him from the Hall, the Hall can now take its own step to prevent Bonds from joining. A big part of me thinks, Good. Go ahead and display that ball as an f.u. to the man who has said f.u. to the game of baseball for all these years. That's the fun answer. But it's not the right one. And when I take a step back and think about this from a broader view, I actually agree with Bonds. And that pisses me off.
Baseball is a game of numbers. 42. 56. 61. .400. 755. Any fan knows what these mean because the numbers themselves are as important as the game. The thing is, though, that the game has changed throughout the years. Players have advantages now that old timers never enjoyed. When Roger Maris broke Ruth's record of 60 home runs, he did it in 8 more games than the Babe. The game had changed since the record was set: the season was expanded and Maris was given more opportunities to hit home runs. But for all myths surrounding the asterisk that was to be put beside his record, the symbol was never instituted by Major League Baseball and Maris's name stood unmarked above Ruth's. Major League Baseball, for all its faults, exercised brilliant restraint by not putting an asterisk next to Maris's name. The game had changed, the record was a result of this change, and the men at the top realized that this was simply part of the evolving game of baseball.
Baseball has since evolved into the current era of uncertainty. Who took what substances? Who didn't? The game has changed in ways previously unimagined and there is virtually no way now to determine which players in this era are guilty of juicing. So what do you do? Do you discount all records set in the last ten or fifteen years? I don't think you can do that. You cannot simply throw out McGwire's 70 home runs or Sosa's 66 or Bonds' 73 just because they cheated - or because we think they did. In baseball history, the numbers stand for themselves and it is left to us to judge what they mean. Some people will never believe that Roger Maris was the true owner of that record in the same way that many people now do not believe Bonds' record to be legitimate. People are entitled to those opinions and baseball should afford its followers the ability to choose for themselves what they want to believe. For the Hall of Fame to display a ball branded with an asterisk - an act which I believe to be a hideous affront to the game - is disrespectful not only to the new Home Run King, but to the fans and to the game itself.
I believe that Barry Bonds cheated. I do. I think he has disgraced the game in a way that no player has before and I would love to see him suffer the consequences. But I want those consequences to be fair. The truth is that Bonds has turned himself into a lightning rod of hatred and resentment, so it is easy to say let's give him an asterisk when one was never issued before. We also forget the fact that the man hasn't been proven guilty of anything. If he is found to have taken steroids and/or to have broken the laws of the game, then I hope they ban his ass faster than you can say Balco. But until then, you can't punish someone for being a jerk or because you think he might have done something wrong. And even if Bonds is banned from the game, 762 or whatever it stops at will still be the official home run record. Bonds hit the home runs. The fans will judge the record for themselves. The Hall should step back and let them do it.
Interesting. Barry's against changing history. Well how about this then: If Barry Bonds had never put steroids into his body, Hank Aaron would still be the home run king. How's that for changing history? Funny how he didn't seem to mind it then.
Barry said this week that if the Hall of Fame displays his ball, since branded with an asterisk by the ball's owner, Marc Ecko, then Bonds will never visit the Hall and would even boycott his own induction ceremony. First of all, Hall president Dale Petroskey is probably thanking the good lord for this stroke of luck. Now he knows how to keep Bonds from Cooperstown. If Major League Baseball has been too soft to catch Bonds cheating and ban him from the Hall, the Hall can now take its own step to prevent Bonds from joining. A big part of me thinks, Good. Go ahead and display that ball as an f.u. to the man who has said f.u. to the game of baseball for all these years. That's the fun answer. But it's not the right one. And when I take a step back and think about this from a broader view, I actually agree with Bonds. And that pisses me off.
Baseball is a game of numbers. 42. 56. 61. .400. 755. Any fan knows what these mean because the numbers themselves are as important as the game. The thing is, though, that the game has changed throughout the years. Players have advantages now that old timers never enjoyed. When Roger Maris broke Ruth's record of 60 home runs, he did it in 8 more games than the Babe. The game had changed since the record was set: the season was expanded and Maris was given more opportunities to hit home runs. But for all myths surrounding the asterisk that was to be put beside his record, the symbol was never instituted by Major League Baseball and Maris's name stood unmarked above Ruth's. Major League Baseball, for all its faults, exercised brilliant restraint by not putting an asterisk next to Maris's name. The game had changed, the record was a result of this change, and the men at the top realized that this was simply part of the evolving game of baseball.
Baseball has since evolved into the current era of uncertainty. Who took what substances? Who didn't? The game has changed in ways previously unimagined and there is virtually no way now to determine which players in this era are guilty of juicing. So what do you do? Do you discount all records set in the last ten or fifteen years? I don't think you can do that. You cannot simply throw out McGwire's 70 home runs or Sosa's 66 or Bonds' 73 just because they cheated - or because we think they did. In baseball history, the numbers stand for themselves and it is left to us to judge what they mean. Some people will never believe that Roger Maris was the true owner of that record in the same way that many people now do not believe Bonds' record to be legitimate. People are entitled to those opinions and baseball should afford its followers the ability to choose for themselves what they want to believe. For the Hall of Fame to display a ball branded with an asterisk - an act which I believe to be a hideous affront to the game - is disrespectful not only to the new Home Run King, but to the fans and to the game itself.
I believe that Barry Bonds cheated. I do. I think he has disgraced the game in a way that no player has before and I would love to see him suffer the consequences. But I want those consequences to be fair. The truth is that Bonds has turned himself into a lightning rod of hatred and resentment, so it is easy to say let's give him an asterisk when one was never issued before. We also forget the fact that the man hasn't been proven guilty of anything. If he is found to have taken steroids and/or to have broken the laws of the game, then I hope they ban his ass faster than you can say Balco. But until then, you can't punish someone for being a jerk or because you think he might have done something wrong. And even if Bonds is banned from the game, 762 or whatever it stops at will still be the official home run record. Bonds hit the home runs. The fans will judge the record for themselves. The Hall should step back and let them do it.
Colts? Or Tum Tum?
When Bill Belichick wears anything besides a baggy, grey Patriots sweatshirt, you know it’s going to be an exciting game. This one lived up to the hype. We saw the two best teams of the last decade at their finest and the two best quarterbacks fulfilled all of Dave G’s pre-game expectations. Brady led a game-winning drive with three minutes left in the fourth quarter to put the Pats ahead. Manning coughed up a fumble trying to do the same thing and took the Colts out of the game. There’s more to the story, obviously, but it pretty much comes down to this: Brady rose to the occasion. Manning fumbled away the chance to drive to victory.
Some other thoughts:
- The Colts defense is incredible. Freeney and Mathis barely gave Brady a chance. Bob Sanders is a force of nature. Brackett’s interception set up what could have been the definitive drive of the game. And the Pats still put up 24 points. That’s scary.
- Brady-Moss is becoming the new Manning-Harrison – except better. Moss had at least two catches that I’m convinced no one else in the league could have made, including a one-armed grab that left even the announcers speechless. The great quarterback finally found his perfect receiver. The great receiver finally found his perfect quarterback. Together, they will rule the world! Or at least the Colts.
- Peyton was forced to play the game without Harrison, his most potent offensive weapon. One can only wonder how it would have played out if he could have looked to number 88.
- Joseph Addai is amazing. The guy is just that good. With over 100 yards rushing and receiving today, the fourth running back selected in the 2006 draft (28 spots behind Reggie Bush) has certainly made the most immediate impact of any player taken that year.
- Bill Belichick further increased his chances of winning the NFL’s Schmuck-of-the-Year Award by barely acknowledging Tony Dungy after the game. One step at a time, I guess. Today, no sweatshirt. Tomorrow, pleasantly greeting an opposing coach. It’s a gradual transition toward humanity.
Say It Ain't So, Joe!
Joe Torre is the new manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers. I’m ok with this. Really, I am. Therapy and pills have gotten me past his initial departure. But I must admit I am surprised that Joe would leave the life he has built in New York. The man is beloved in this city. It was his hometown growing up and he has rebuilt his life here since joining the Yanks. His life and the lives of his wife and school-age daughter are rooted in New York. So why move?
I think Joe’s decision to move to LA stems from more than manifest destiny. He says he really just wants to stay in the game but at 67 why leave your hometown and uproot your family to do it? He could have gone out on top after leaving the Yankees but he apparently feels he has more to prove. I suspect that his need to keep managing derives from his desire to prove to the Yankees – to the Steinbrenners, really – that he can still do the job and that they were wrong to force him out. He’ll be managing in a different league, in the NL’s toughest division, and will likely face constant comparisons to Tommy Lasorda. Competing with Tommy in LA is like competing with, well, Joe Torre in NY. This isn’t an enviable position. In the end, Joe will always be a Yankee. He bleeds a darker blue than Tommy Lasorda. But for now I’ll watch him manage the Dodgers and I won’t be able to keep myself from hoping they turn things around out there.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Who's the Manning?
Hi, I’m Peyton Manning and I have erectile dysfunction. Thus begins the Viagra ad Peyton will be appearing in during Sunday’s highly touted Colts-Pats game. Seriously, do you think Peyton has ever turned down a commercial? Do you think he ever said “No. I’ve never bought a car from Eastern Motors and my job is not my credit credit?”1 At what point does it become ridiculous that he’s on television more during games in which the Colts aren’t playing? If I’m flipping through the channels one day and I see him on I Love the 80’s arguing with Dustin Diamond over which fraggle would have been better in bed, I swear I’ll never watch a football game again. All the NFL needs to do is shoot one commercial with Peyton Manning downing Lipitor and driving a Chevy and just play it on loop nonstop throughout the whole season. That’s what Sundays have become.
It’s hard to say anything about Sunday’s game without feeling like I’m repeating everything that has already been said. This has the potential to be one of the most important games in NFL history, the kind of thing they’ll play over and over on ESPN Classic for years to come – probably with Peyton pimping flying cars during the commercial breaks. There’s something for everyone here. Colts vs. Patriots. Dungy vs. Belichick. Harrison vs. Moss. Bridget vs. Gisele. But, most importantly, Manning vs. Brady. I might catch heat for saying this – that is, if anyone actually reads this – but I believe this to be the best quarterback match up of all time. There are guys in sports who are born to be natural rivals: the best athletes on the best teams who compete time and time again in big games (think Larry and Magic). Brady vs. Manning is the definitive rivalry of our time.
So let’s get down to it. Manning or Brady? Anyone who has watched any Colts or Pats games with me in the last five years (probably only my roommate Andrew) knows how I feel about this one. It’s Manning. Just kidding, Drew. It’s Brady! I’d take Brady over Manning any day for the same reason I’d take Jeter over A-Rod. There are players who have that natural ability to come up big every single time, who were born to play in the clutch and who seem to dominate big games as if they knew the script beforehand and were only playing along (actually if the spy allegations are true, this could very well be the case). Tom Brady is one of these players.
Peyton Manning is the best regular season quarterback in the history of the NFL. Better than Marino, Marc. Better than Elway, Jason. He’s a stat-machine and now with a ring to back up the numbers, Manning’s place in history is assured. By the time he retires, he’ll own every career passing record in the books. But he’s not a big game quarterback. He won one Super Bowl while playing on a Colts team that was probably the best team in the league for years before they finally won it all. It started in Tennessee, when the Vols had to wait until he left to win a national championship. Then big playoff losses to the Titans (19-16 in 1999), the Dolphins (23-17 in 2000), the Jets (41-0 in 2002), the Pats (24-14 in 2003 and 20-3 in 2005) and the Steelers (21-18 in 2006) cemented his legacy as a choke artist. He finally won a ring, sure, but I’d bet dollars to dunkin doughnuts that Dungy’s boys would have won at least two or three during that time with another young quarterback in the pocket: Tom Brady.
Coming out of Manning’s conference, Brady won three rings with an inferior offense. He didn’t have Edge or Addai in the backfield and he didn’t have Marvin Harrison to throw to. But somehow, he got it done (Vinatieri didn’t hurt). When I was growing up, all of the top quarterbacks – Aikman, Young, Favre, Elway, Marino – lived in the shadow of Joe Montana and his four Super Bowl championships. They would never have the same clout because they couldn’t top Joe Cool – or Bradshaw for that matter, who also had four rings but wasn’t as hot a commodity in the early 90’s. Here’s the thing: Montana got rings three and four after the age of 32. Brady just turned thirty and is already sitting on three rings. And he’s in the prime of his career. And he’s playing on maybe the best team of all time. It is flatly impossible to predict how many championships a player will win but the odds are certainly against Brady never winning another Super Bowl. Unless some linebacker gets fed up with Belichick running up the score and decides to end Brady’s career, we can expect the kid from Michigan to at least tie Montana and Bradshaw for the most Super Bowl wins of all time and probably even eclipse them. And as for Sunday’s game, it’s a big one, which means Brady will soar and Manning will fall and the Pats’ magical season will continue.
In five or six or seven years when these two quarterbacks retire, Tom Brady will hold the QB record for the most Super Bowl wins. Peyton Manning will hold the record for the most Super Bowl commercials. And when the ’07-’08 Patriots reunite in 25 years to celebrate their undefeated season, you can count on Peyton to do the ad for the commemorative DVD’s.
1. This is a popular commercial in Washington. It runs four times per minute.Wednesday, October 31, 2007
A Letter to Alex Rodriguez
Mr. Alex Rodriguez
Los Angeles or
Chicago or
San Francisco or
Anaheim or
Queens, NY or
St. Louis
Dear Mr. Rodriguez,
In 1996, I was immortalized on film by starring as myself as “distraught twelve-year old fan” in that year’s World Series video. With this, I have officially contributed more to a championship team than you have. As you leave New York this week after four disappointing years, you will cement your place in team history as the greatest player we’ve ever had - in the month of April. Disappointing? you ask. How can 54 home runs be disappointing? Easy. Because they didn’t come in October. Welcome to New York, Alex, where nothing matters until game 163. You knew that coming in. You sure as hell understand that going out. And while you were here, you lost.
Love and kisses,
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