Andruw Jones? A Dodger? Playing for Torre? For $36 million? What, was God on break?!?

Andruw Jones will be playing baseball for Joe Torre next season. In related stories, Al Gore has joined George Bush's cabinet, Tony Dungy baked cookies with Bill Belichick, and Bugs Bunny helped Elmer Fudd renew his hunting license. Some people just aren't meant to be together and in my own convoluded mind, Jones and Torre are two of them.

You have to understand that in my history with baseball, the 1996 Yankees are the best team of all time. I firmly believe this. You cannot convince me otherwise. I will get into the reasons at some point in the future, but for now just know that I consider the 1996 Yankees to be the Mona Lisa of baseball.

Anyway, after a long and glorious season, the Yankees went on to beat the Rangers in the Division Series and the Orioles in the ALCS. Only the Braves stood in the way of their first World Series Championship in 18 years. Game 1. October 20, 1996. Mickey Mantle's birthday. The Yankees' first World Series game in 15 years, a few years before I was born. Andruw Jones hits two home runs. He is 19 years old.

I arrive the next day at Yankee Stadium for Game 2 of the World Series. My dad and I are standing at the bat outside the Stadium when a gentleman from NBC approaches me and asks to interview me for that night's broadcast. "Yes!" I reply. "I'd love to tell New York how much I love the Yankees!" Great. The camera goes on and the guy says, "So what do you think about Andruw Jones?" Really? Really? The Yankees are in their first World Series in my lifetime, I'm AT THE GAME, and this guy wants to talk about someone who plays for the Braves? (sidenote: the reporter was subsequently fired from NBC and now reports cricket games for al Jazeera. True story.) "Well," I said in my high-pitched twelve year old voice. "He looks like a great player. He had a great game yesterday and I'm worried about him but I'm confident the Yankees will get the best of him today." I'm paraphrasing here but I remember giving him credit and then saying we would shut him down and beat the Braves. By the way, I then went on to predict that Jones would win 10 gold gloves in the next twelve seasons and would one day go on to play for Torre once Steinbrenner's son offered him an insulting contract after twelve successful seasons. They didn't air any of that though and the tapes were lost forever. My point is, I've been to one World Series game in my entire life and during that game (and really the entire series), Andruw Jones was the villian.

Yesterday, Torre's Dodgers offered Jones $36.2 million over two years, which he gratefully accepted after asking "Seriously?" several times. First of all, I can't believe how much they overpaid. There has been talk of Jones being lucky to get a one year deal, let alone a multi-year contract, let alone one worth $36 million. The guy hit .222 last year! Now, Jones is only 30 and if he rebounds from his recent downfall, he has the potential to be a Hall of Famer. But the guy hit .222 last year! He struck out 138 times! I don't know how Scott Boras got him this deal, but SuperAgent may have redeemed himself for the A-Rod debacle. I don't know why the Dodgers didn't go after Rowand. By the way, if I'm Torre I offer a spring training tryout to Bernie Williams to bring him on as a utility outfielder, pinch hitter, and clubhouse leader. It's not likely, but hey, if I'm going to spend a whole post on the villain of the '96 World Series, I have to at least mention the hero.

My problem with Jones isn't personal. For all I know, he could be a great guy. But in my mind, he'll always be the kid who hit 2 homers against the Yankees in their first World Series game in my lifetime. And in the mind of Dave G, you just can't recover from that.