As a child of the nineties, I grew up in the heyday of feel good, geared-toward-children-but-still-enjoyable-for-adults sports movies. Angels in the Outfield, Little Giants, and the Big Green all enjoyed moderate commercial success. But two films, I think, stand out among the others as two of the greatest films in motion picture history: Rookie of the Year and Little Big League. Contrary to popular belief, these are in no way the same movie. In one, a child plays for a major league team. In the other, a child manages a major league team. Huge difference. The two movies are very similar though, and in this post I will compare them based on the criteria that seem to have been considered every time they wrote a kids-in-sports movie back in the early 90's.
But first a recap:
In Rookie of the Year, young Henry Rowengartner (Rulenfurter?) breaks his arm and is immediately able to pitch over 100 mph. After firing a baseball from the outfield stands to home plate at Wrigley Field, the Cubs offer him a major league contract and Henry becomes a big leaguer. Along the way, he befriends an aging pitcher named Chet "The Rocket" Steadman and a goofy pitching coach who locks himself between the connecting doors at a hotel. He also battles a villainous opposing hitter. Henry helps get the Cubs to the playoffs even after he loses his phenomenal speed, but not before helping the players rekindle their love for the game. He then leaves Major League Baseball to pursue a normal childhood.
In Little Big League, young Billy Heywood's grandfather dies and leaves him the Minnesota Twins. After firing a loud-mouth manager, played masterfully by Dennis Farina, Billy hires himself as manager and sets upon leading the Twins to the playoffs. Along the way, he befriends an aging firstbaseman named Lou Collins and a goofy pitcher who throws waterballoons out of hotel windows. He also battles a villainous opposing hitter (Ken Griffey, Jr). Billy helps the Twins get to a one-game playoff but loses in the end. It's ok though because he helps the players rekindle their love for the game. He then leaves Major League Baseball to pursue a normal childhood.
So which movie is best? In order to judge the movies on a fair basis, I'll use certain criteria that were characteristic of every sports movie of that era: 1) a likeable kid to play the lead 2) his two pudgier, dorkier friends 3) the event that puts him in the big time 4) the aging star player who teaches him a valuable life lesson 5) the supportive but weary mother 6) the comic relief -- er, coaching staff 7) the eccentric teammates 8) the villainous opposing player 9) the moment the kid realizes he wants to just be a kid and 10) the classic moment that makes the movie memorable.
Play Ball!
1) Thomas Ian Nicholas vs. Luke Edwards
While both played the parts well, I'd have to give this edge to Mr. Nicholas. He was younger and cuter and he would later bang Tara Reid in American Pie. Case closed. Winner: Rookie of the Year
2) Clark and George from ROTY vs. Chuck and Joey from LBL
This one goes to Chuck and Joey, mostly because Clark and George should be the names of your grandpa's friends, not your own. I have never met a Clark or a George who is my age. I think whoever wrote Rookie of the Year (I'm looking at you Sam Harper!) picked the names of his two favorite great uncles to fill the names of Henry's friends. Also, Chuck's line (or was it Joey's?) "When my grandfather died, all he left me was a sweater" sets the tone for the movie. And Joey's line (or was it Chuck's?) "Shoulda started Webman" not only added comic relief but also gave Billy a a great idea for a last minute lineup change. Most importantly, though, Chuck and Joey would sit on a fourth friend, Lowell, just to humiliate him. Any movie where a main character sits on another character for fun has to win this category. Winner: Little Big League
3) Henry slipping on a baseball vs. Billy's grandfather dying
These are two awful events. I'm sure Little Big League was responsible for teaching some little kids about the concept of death and I'm certain that Rookie of the Year led some kids to purposely break their arms so they could pitch for the Cubs. But since dying is slightly worse than breaking your arm and since Little Big League featured Oscar winner Jason Robards as Billy's grandfather, we're going to give this one to them. Winner: Little Big League
4) Chet "The Rocket" Steadman vs. Lou Collins
Gary Busey's performance as The Rocket was simply more believable than Timothy Busfield's as Lou. That has more to do with the actors than with their abilities. Busey's previous film roles included Mr. Joshua in Lethal Weapon and Commander Krill in Under Siege. Busfield's previous roles included Arnold Poindexter in Revenge of the Nerds and Mark, the pessimistic banker from Field of Dreams who tried to shut down the field and its dreams. But somehow, Lou's quest for on-field success and off-field romance with Billy's mom made him a much more three-dimensional character than Steadman. Also, he's not played by Gary Busey. Winner: Little Big League
5) Mary Rowengartner vs. Jenny Heywood
These are two blond, lanky women. They both care for their sons and want what is best for them. Mary was a former star pitcher whose floating pitch provided the inspiration that led Henry to beat the Mets. But she also married that jerk mcgerk who tried to exploit Henry's newfound talent. Jenny was a cool lady who ended up with Lou Collins. But, she never pitched a floater in her life! Winner: Push
6) Daniel Stern's Pitching Coach and the Tongue-tied Manager vs. Dennis Farina and Mac, The Grizzled Pitching Coach.
To pretend that Little Big League can win this one would be a sham. Rosenfurter! Rudabaga! Hoosenwhatsels! He just couldn't say Rowengartner for the life of him! And Daniel Stern locking himself between those connecting doors - Wow! Simply iconic. Winner: Rookie of the Year
7) The Rocket and Really No One Else vs. Lou, Bowers, Lonnie Ritter and Mickey Scales, among others.
Aside from the Rocket, who wasn't that funny, the Cubs were rather anonymous in Rookie of the Year. Little Big League offered a cadre of unique, humorous characters. From the playing-while-injuried Lonnie to the hopeless rookie Scales to the water-balloon throwing Bowers (played by Weekend at Bernie's own Jonathan Silverman) to Lou Collins, Little Big League had it all. Seriously though, it seems like they just picked a bunch of random guys who had been in at least one moderately successful movie before. Hmm, let's take the ladies man who spent a weekend with a dead body, put him with the guy who's played a nerd in fifteen straight movies, and put them on a baseball team together. I see a hit. Winner: Little Big League
8) The Scary Met vs. Ken Griffey, Jr.
Rookie of the Year got a guy who kind of looks like John Kruk to play Heddo, the terrifying Mets slugger. The actor, Tom Milanovich, is also well known for such roles as Guard, Thug #2, and Man in Bar. Go to imdb.com. I swear I'm not making this up. Little Big League got Ken Griffey, Jr, one of the best players in the history of the game, to play himself. How is this even a comparison? Winner: Little Big League
9) Henry Slipping On the Ball Again vs. Griffey Robbing Lou of a Home Run
Henry is driven back to his old life after he slips on another baseball - who'd have thought?!? - and loses his pitching ability. After struggling against Heddo, he peels back a piece of his glove to find out that his mom was the star pitcher, not his dad as he previously thought, and heeds her advice to "float it". He, now again a normal 12-year old, strikes out Heddo and wins the game.
Billy's magical season ends when his stepdad-to-be, the great Lou Collins, gets robbed of a home run by Junior. He hits the ball, by the way, off of RANDY JOHNSON!!! That ball went from Randy Johnson to Arnold Poindexter to Ken Griffey, Jr! It doesn't get much better than that. Anyway, Lou's outlook after the game shows Billy that there are more important things than winning a baseball game. He summarily resigns his post and returns to childhood. Winner: Push
10) "Pitcher's Got A Big Butt" vs. None, really
Rookie of the Year was famous for two of Henry's quotes: "Pitcher's Got A Big Butt" and "Funky Buttloving!"
The first, "Pitcher's Got A Big Butt!" became a taunt that we used in little league for years to come. It was especially effective when the pitcher did actually have a big butt. "Funky Buttloving" was at the time a funny, innocuous phrase. I wonder now though if it referred to Henry's latent homosexuality. We may never know.
Winner: Rookie of the Year
In the end, Little Big League wins by a score of five to three. It's not too late for Henry Rowengartner though. I'd like to see new movie in which Billy Heywood reinstates himself as manager and hires the new age-appropriate Henry Rowengartner to pitch for the Twins. Somehow though I don't think Thomas Ian Nicholas and Luke Edwards draw a huge box office crowd. Tim Busfield on the other hand...
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6 comments:
First of all this was an awesome post. Second of all, I forgot that Gary Busey was in Rookie of the Year. Third of all, how can you mention Gary Busey without mentioning the short-lived comedy central series "I'm With Busey." Fourth, Dave dave dave.
Also, I laughed out loud on this line: "The actor, Tom Milanovich, is also well known for such roles as Guard, Thug #2, and Man in Bar."
I always wondered why Busey's charachter was named "The Rocket" even though that was Clemen's nickname.
I don't know how this is even a debate, honestly, ROTY is light years better than LBL. It's not even close, seriously. The acting in LBL is so horrendous I could barely sit through the whole movie. This was a well-written post and had several funny jokes that I laughed at, I just completely disagree with the analysis. You should have weighted the categories, such as main character earning more weight, because that is a way more important part of the movie than his friends. Henry's character is 100 times better than the other kid in every way.
Tom Milanovich who played HEDDO, was his number on the NY METS 6? Someone write to me on aol im bigdanny77, thanks,I might get that jersey custom made1
In ROTY, Henry's mom was never married to the jerk. And she wound up with Steadman/Busey. And the phrase Funky Butt Loving was NOT a Henry quote. The doctor actually said it.
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